Dearest Nick,

I miss you.

Every day.

I can’t help it. Twenty three years was not long enough to spend with you. I sometimes feel we were just getting started. We had so much more to do. So many things left undone.

have you ever just stopped and realized that if you hadnt met a certain person your life would be completely different
I really wanted us to drive our Mustangs to a show together. That would have been a sight. Me in my ’65 Fastback, you in your ’69 Mach. I still plan on taking both to a show once. I’ll just have to have someone else drive one of them. In your memory. I know Cullan would love to.

I have that shelf on the wall yet. You know the one – we bought it at Goodwill. It will stay there.

Wall shelf 2.png

I remember that day when I found it. We looked at it. You read it out loud to me. We stood in the store hugging and crying. When we got home, I hung it up as fast as I could in a place where I knew we would see it every day.

You only got to see it about a year.

I still look at it every day.

I do wish I had met you back when I was 17. I think we would have had the same stormy relationship we did, but I wouldn’t change our life together for all the money in the world. I couldn’t breathe when you weren’t with me. Even when you were having your trouble and we weren’t together.  We were meant to be together for as long as we were.

I loved you more than words can say. I still do.

But it’s time for me to move on now. I finally feel it.

I already know I have your blessing, hon.

Thank you for that.

Nick and Sue by Bec

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I must be healing

……..and my posts must be getting boring.

I’m the only one liking them? hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

lick a strangers face
I’m starting back with Weight Watchers soon. I am talking with a friend about being an accountability buddy. Fingers crossed.

I am ready to date mentally but I’m not happy with my body image so it’s time to do something about it. I’ve already been doing aerobics every day between 5 – 30 minutes per day depending on where I am. I am also going to start walking on these nice days. I won’t go out in below zero crap. But Spring is on it’s way.

And I must find someone to put my rowing machine together for those below zero days.

I had a nice chat with my friend Dan last night. We were talking about my having lost interest in so many things over the last 18 months. And how I’m starting to take interest in things again. I loved what he said.

~  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~You are rebuilding. Day by day ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

That is about right. I just smiled. And it made me feel good inside. And I’m still smiling today when I think about it. I don’t know why but it made me feel like it put things in perspective.

So I will keep rebuilding my life. Not as I had planned with Nick, but alone, or maybe one day with a new love. Only time will tell.

Thank you, Dan. I love you.

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It is Humpday!

little engine that could after coffee.jpg
Ok, hump day AFTER coffee…..yawn.

I was actually asleep before 11pm last night! Damn dog woke me at 1am. Somehow he is off his schedule. I’m gonna have to figure THAT one out.

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My room gets done tonight after finding more donations for people from the 8plex that burned down. I need to get rid of more stuff in there and simplify the room again. So I will give what I no longer need to D. She is an employee at the place I buy my cars. I don’t really know her but apparently she remembers me from a car cruise the dealership helped sponsor. That cruise was the day before Nick went in for surgery and we started that horrid journey. Apparently I make an impression on people. Who knew!

britney huh.gif

A warm up it on the way. 28* today. 38* tomorrow. So I plan on spending 30-45 minutes in line to get my car washed again. My cinnamon baby is white with salt. I gotta get that off her.

Car club Christmas party Saturday night. I have to find the gift I bought for it and get it wrapped!!!

Later taters!

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Hey!!! Hello!!

minions good morning

It was a brisk 7* as I drove though town this morning!

Oh yay.

I got a nice compliment yesterday and it boosted my spirits. It came from a guy that wants to be with me. He doesn’t want to DATE. Just be with me……….ya.

um.

no.

Sorry….

I’m feeling pretty good again today!!

yay!!

happy alligator

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Gah! Tis Monday again!

monday sized cuppa coffee.jpg

I have to remember to take my Melatonin earlier in the evening. I don’t sleep well at midnight but OMG 6am…..I’m snoozing really well!! gah!

ORANGATAN DANCE
Looks like me exercising at night. I do 30 minutes of aerobics now. I don’t know yet if it is doing any good. Just started a week ago. But if I DO look like that? I’m stopping. Like right NOW. Sheesh!

I have to find someone who can put my rowing machine together. I’d rather do that anyway. More fun and will help get me ready for Kayaking season. I plan on using it this year.

And I plan on going camping more. Jegs and I are going to go whenever we can. I already put June 9th down as a camping weekend. I may add June 16. The weekend after that is BTT50’s at the Minneapolis/St Paul State Fairgrounds. I am going to that as my friends from New Zealand will be here this year!!!

I discovered my Italian daughter’s final day of school is June 1st. And I just sent her mom an email detailing this and if they are coming over, when would be a good time. So fingers crossed.

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My feelings zackly!

Sun tomorrow is monday again.jpg

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I have this friend…..

Weve been friends for so long.jpg
…..that when I talk to her, I feel better.

Problem is, she is in London. There are 6 or 7 hours in time difference.  And there’s that damn puddle between us.

We get online whenever we can.

Thank God.

She can make the old Boo come out. I need that.

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