Here’s a nice photo of a giraffe….my favorite aminal.

So many of you know my Samsung S5 went swimming in the lake on Sunday.  Monday I went into the Verizon store and got all set up with a new S7. Or so I thought.

“It takes 2 days to ship, it will be here Wednesday.”

Good, cause I have Wednesday open, Thursday I have a board meeting, AND it’s my oldest grandson’s 17th birthday, Friday is my Pampered Chef retirement party, Saturday I have to run my truck BACK to Winona for them to fix where they put tire marks on my tailgate, Sunday I have a Graduation party and there is NO way in hello I was waiting for Monday to pick up my phone.

I get there yesterday. “um, I said it takes two days to ship and HOPEFULLY it would be here Wednesday.” Well, no you didn’t and that is why I am here on Wednesday to pick up my phone. And I said “See you Wednesday” when I left on Monday. No rebuttal to THAT.

On Wednesday morning, I tracked the phone on the email I got and it said THURSDAY. So I called the store. Oh we have an S7 in stock. Come on in, we’ll get you set up!

So I stop in on Wednesday after work to find out for some reason the Mfg does NOT track the serial or the SIM card # till AFTER the store receives and scans the bar code on the box. Um…you don’t scan the code BEFORE you ship it to make sure they get the same one?? No wonder inventory is not correct.

So they couldn’t cancel my phone from my account and set up the one they had in stock that came in on TUESDAY. They gave me a loaner iPhone instead.


People? When you are used to Android? iPhones suck. I can do SO much more on my S5 than I can on this …whatever the hell it is. I can’t even find my CONTACT list. I have almost 200 phone #’s in my S5. “Oh good, your contacts transferred.” um….only 30 of them did. Only my daughter’s did. None of the rest of my other families did. None of my grandkids, my friends, my Pchef contacts…….man!

The only thing I do like better is how you listen to your voice mails. MUCH easier.

I checked with Verizon while I was there. I bought my first phone 14 1/2 years ago. This is the FIRST time I’ve ever had to replace a phone due to something gone wrong. I usually just went in every 2 years and got a new one. None of my phones ever stopped working.


So tonight, once again I have to go back to Verizon (out of my way tonite) get my phone, head BACK the other way to my board meeting, then hopefully out for supper with my grandson en fam for his birthday.

Meanwhile, I’m running on too little sleep. Too much to do. Not enough time to get done what I need to get done. A dog that purt near broke my finger. Thank God he’s only 40 lbs or he would have. My other dog has decided he needs to dig in my garbage *bad DOG!!* when I forget to put the ‘twisty’ thing on it. The cat………..*waves hand* …….is the cat.

My friend Greg in CA has been silent for too many days. I worry about that with what is going on with him.

AW is to be here next weekend. Barring any more disasters. I’m getting very nervous now. Excited to meet him finally and yet worried.

I have to spend tonight after I get home, getting ready for my Pchef retirement party Friday night. I need to shop for that too…………….

*…………….makes a list………………….*

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I do strange things in bed….*snortz*

Like last night. I pulled out the Journal I had started writing notes in early June about things as I knew everything was coming to an ‘Ending’?

Nick was getting thinner and thinner. He stopped begging me to stay home with him every day. This is part of the process when they turn into themselves. Incredible highs like Falcon Nationals, meeting Jack Rousch, doing the Mustang Run, our trip to Canada.

And the incredible lows like when we found out after all this time, the tumors were not shrinking but growing and moving to other organs. June 16th the decision was made to stop Chemo. I watched him shrink as he told her; yet walk tall out of the doctors knowing he would feel better for a while. Chemo weighed heavy on him. He just did not have enough weight on to fight the cancer and the side effects of Chemo, too.

Nick did get stronger for a bit. Enough to make our vacation to Canada. Enough to do the Mustang Run and meet Jack, Nick and Larry going to Falcon Nationals. Larry describes the things they did with a smile on his face because Nick would grin. He knew Nick felt like crap but he kept doing things anyway.

He just kept trying.

I love you and I always will. Your spirit never wavered. Your will was strong when your body was not. I miss you.

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TUESDAY and things are heavy on my mind….

It’s Tuesday.

And for some reason, Nick has been heavy on my mind. I have been doing quite well with him the last few months. But now……I think about him all the time. I think it must be the whirlwind of doing things in the last 4 weeks he was alive … they are all coming back to me now.


This was the time a year ago,  when I talked to my boss and my CEO and told them that it was no longer about how many vacation days I had left, it was about how many weeks/days/hours Nick had left and what he wanted to do with them.

They both told me “Do what you need to do. We’ll deal with it later.”

One of the girls at HQ gave me two of her vacation days.

So I started planning a trip to Harris Bay Resort in Ignace, Canada.

I’ve blogged this before. If you want to read about it, check out June 20, 2016 on to July 22, 2016 when he passed away. That’s where the trip,it’s many details and his last 4 weeks start. I would give the world to go again.

I miss you, my love.

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So …. my almost 3 year old phone

…………spent some time swimming yesterday. It didn’t ASK me first or I would have told it no.


Amazingly, when Ken found it, it was still on! I just talked to Verizon and they said the little cover that goes over the charging ports almost always gets broken off. That’s how the water would have gotten in. SO BE MORE CAREFUL PEOPLE. Mine is broken off but Ken said he found it by the top right corner and when he brought it up out of the water, it was upright. That may be what saved it. I found the tiniest bit of water out of it when we pulled the battery out.

He found in the water under the dock. Just past where he found the phone, the lake bottom drops off.

Man I got lucky.

It’s sitting in a bowl of rice on my dash right now, hoping the sun’s heat helps to dry it out.

My text messages and voice mails from Nick are on that phone. I HOPE they backed up to google and cloud. I doubt it. Photos of him are also on there, hopefully I have most of them on Facebook, Dropbox, and this computer.

To lose my voice mails would be painful.

I put the battery in, booted it up, it came up fine, then started to fade to yellow. I pulled the battery immediately.  I’m sure it being almost 3 years old also has something to do with it, too. But I managed to get AW’s phone # off and sent him a text using a friends phone so …………

……..I am heading to Verizon tonight to deal with a new phone. Not like I had planned but whatever. Apparently the gods are against me. *sigh*

My camping went well even with the rain. It was a good time for me.


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My camping spot

My dog crawled in and curled up

The view out the top of my tent.

And my fire.

It was so peaceful there.

Granted it rained. And everything got wet. But that’s not what made me mad.

Enjoying my fire

See how the grate you flip over the fire is cockeyed? Ya, I couldn’t get it to flip over to cook my bacon and eggs Sunday morning. So I left. It’s a great design and a good idea. They just need to make the loops on the grate larger so it won’t get stuck like this. You are sposed to be able to move it out of the way or over the fire for cooking. Get it a little sideways and it’s STUCK.  I needed a BFH to move that puppy and I didn’t have one.

Flicked a tick off my hand, then grabbed one crawling up my side. Two came off the dog. The skeeters were attacking en force. The deer flies weren’t TOO bad but one got my left ankle.

Anyway, I drove right to the campground. Which shocked me. It’s been awhile since Nick and I were there. My eyes started to leak as I looked around. Nothing has changed.  I even got the exact same spot we were in when Nick got down on one knee. Memories flooded back. All good, all making my eyes leak more, but I was smiling as I cried.

I took Jegs for a walk over to the beach area. Sat down at a picnic table and just stared at the little peninsula in the lake. Nick and I are lucky we didn’t get arrested but we kept a low profile while we were out there. It was fun. *smiles*Penisula

I never realized how close we were to the beach!!! Oh wow! heh heh heh…

I’ll be going back. When the weather is a bit better and I have my hiking boots on. I’ll go talk to him some more.

AW actually got the text from Al’s phone. He called my work phone and he’s laughing at me. Then the connection cut out.


Anyway. I had a good day yesterday. Went to a friend’s sister’s house and just relaxed. Talked with friends and people who are becoming like family to me.

It was nice.

Till the damn phone fell in the lake.

I’ll let you know tomorrow what I get. Hug to you all.

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This weekend…..

…I will be doing some remembering………………..

nick wed morning

Rest in peace my love. I miss you so much I still hurt. Tomorrow morning I go to where you proposed to me. Where you got down on one knee like a gentleman. I will walk where we walked, go out to our little peninsula and remember that day (smiles wickedly) laying with you, soaking in the sun. Neither one of us could think about it and not smile. I may even go over and see if that little bar still has those awesome steaks. Lake Lee…where Bear learned he LOVED water, and sleep where we slept. I love you now, I love you always. I miss you now, I miss you always.



Rest in peace my dear friend. I miss you. I would really love to go to you and talk to you. But you must be resting on the mantle. I never told you, dear friend, that I love you. And thank you for being part of my dash.  Your son said you were a great man. I have to agree with him. I still cannot wrap my head around you being gone. Like my Nick, you were vibrant and full of life. Ready to laugh and always a smile on that handsome face.


gramma lola

Gramma … You went Home in 1991 and I miss you today like it was yesterday.  You were my life, my reason for being. I loved you more than anyone.  My memories of the things we did are still fresh in my mind. I have worked to be like you. I think I may have done it. My grandchildren love me. I hope I have made you proud.

Julie … The age of 28 is far too young for ANYONE to leave this world. Your two sons have grown to be stellar young men. You must be quite proud of them. I used to go to your grave and talk to you for hours. It took me almost 20 years to be able to speak about you without losing it. I will NEVER forget the screams in my head as they closed your casket.  I was terrified the same thing would happen when they closed Nick’s. It did. Just not as loud as yours.

Ricky … The explosion in Turret 2 on the USS Iowa in 1989 took you from us. You were a ‘take him home to Momma’ kind of young man and everyone was so proud of you. I remember us partying together just 3 weeks before you died. You were such fun. I miss that smile.

Bear alone.jpg

Bear … My beloved Marshmallow. My 135lb Rotten Lab (with a little German thrown in for longer legs) I still mourn for you. You were that awesome. I still go visit your grave, too. You made Nick and I so happy being such an awesome personality, companion and friend. Jegs will be the same way for me. Losing him will be as bad as losing you.

There are so many more. My Grandma Doris, T’s parents, my aunts and uncles, I was too young to remember my grandfathers but having Nick be such a Papa to Lennox, I know what I lost, 5 classmates now.  And at times, it overwhelms me. I find myself thinking of them and wanting to talk. Tell them things I didn’t while they were alive.

Take that to heart and TELL those that are important to you……….tell them. Whatever it is you need to say.

Regret can be difficult to live with.

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Me and you and a dog named……

….Jegs. As in Jegs Auto Parts. My dog. My companion. My protector. I love this dog beyond….. He was my dog until Nick came home each night, then I ceased to exist in Jeg’s mind.


But now? He’s my constant shadow, watching over me. And 8 1/2 years old? I’m noticing the white on his muzzle, the slowing down of his racing around the house with Bohdi, his ability to jump up on my bed is not as easy. My baby is getting older.

Jegs 061317.jpeg

I will be lost without him. Literally. I come home to a house empty of humans. But my ever faithful Jegs is waiting with tail wagging. Happy to see me and tell me tall tales of what his horrid brother, the cat, did to him all day long.

The cat? is Sprint. (As in a 1964 Falcon Sprint. The car I sold first.) Him? He’s another kettle of fish. Sixteen pounds of fickle…….look it up. One day he loves me to the point of distraction, the next he looks at me and goes ‘pfffffffffffffffft’

I had another cat. Her name was Falcon. Sprint pushed a hole in the screen porch and let her out. He went back in the house. She left. *sigh*

Falcon on my chest

She was adorable, loving, funny, TINY and just fun. I miss her. *glares at Sprint* I know I cannot have another cat till he’s gone. He gets jealous.

When he’s not ignoring me.


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a bit of a blow….

Daughter and I came home to a MESS on Monday afternoon…….All the chairs I had carefully arranged back where they belonged were ALL over my yard. One was broken.

sd chairs all over

Broken branches laying where I usually park. Out of my beautiful huge old maple tree. It just missed the corner of the house roof when it came down. It’s the second big branch to come out of that tree.sd out front door

This pine is dead. It’s impaled into my lawn. I have 7 dead pines to take down. Apparently Mother Nature wants me to HURRY IT UP! sd pine tree

This is the one that upsets me. Granted it was a bad tree in the first place. But, as usual, the storm took the nice straight tree. Now I have to cut it all out instead of cutting all but the middle tree. This, too, just missed the corner of the garage.

sd tree down.jpeg

On the bright side, I’ll have some wood for Winter of 2018 and bonfire wood for this summer!!

I have trees I can plant to replace this one. However, it’s 6 foot tall, not 30′.

I love my trees and plants. Nature is my church. I feel closest to God and Mother Nature outside, barefoot, naked if I can get away with it (and I have…smiles wickedly). There is just something about grass and breezes on your skin.

bye for now

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