I guess we knew it was cancer before the camera and the biopsy. Something that had just been tickling the backs of our minds ever since the pain hit SO hard on the way home Monday.
Nick told me before he even went in for the endoscopy…..’it’s going to be cancer.’ I reassured him…..we can’t know that till the results come back.
Crap…..I hate it when men are right.
Wonderful Dr. Joe came in and explained it all. There was a tumor the size of a golf ball in the lower part of his stomach; where the stomach empties into the small intestine. This explained to Nick why when he would eat, he would feel so full all the time. His food had to squeeze its way past this lump. Dr. Joe told us that he would remove the bottom 1/3 of Nick’s stomach and reroute the small intestine to hook it back up. He was very confident that it would go well.
Trying to process the word cancer when it pertains to someone you love….is…bizarre. The thoughts going thru my head are like…..WTH?? Then…wonder how much all his drinking days had to do with this. And WHERE do we go from here?? There is no instruction manual for this. You fly by the seat of your pants.
Wednesday was spent……talking to each other. And crying. And talking to God….you know…that deal making phase started early…….and deciding. As long as he was already in the hospital…just do the surgery. Be done with it.
Keep in mind, this is 2 days after his Laparoscopic gallbladder surgery (lucky duck…4 tiny incisions to my HUGE 6″ long, 1/4″ wide bugger), and two days of intense pain held in check only by major medication.
(Our kitchen counter still looks like a pharmacy…drives me nuts. I should take a list of what is sitting there and find out what I can get rid of.)
Thursday dawned bright and early and the real journey begins….