I have a few updates, some good news and some somewhat not so good news…
Our Christmas: was actually pretty good. Christmas Eve, we mostly visited with a few friends that stopped by and I spent the day stuffing presents in bags. I should have taken a before and after of my living room floor.
I have recently felt a real pull to attend Church. However, there is NO Methodist churches in G’ville or Ettrick. When I mentioned this to the neighbor that stopped by, she told me about a nice one over in Tremp. I told Nick I was going, if he wanted to join me, he was welcome to.
He told me he really wanted to go, but to do this, he needed a nap. So at 8:30pm, he took an hour nap, we left at 9:40pm for the 10pm service.
Immediately upon entering the church, both Nick and I felt calm and peaceful. I haven’t looked forward to going to church in ages. Portland services in July are a given. I always look forward to that. This was different. We CHOSE to go to 10pm Service. They were also having communion. Just felt a need.
Nick said he hadn’t felt this peaceful in months. He also had taken his pain meds at 9:30pm. He didn’t need another dose till 9am. Almost 12 hours. THAT is amazing in itself as he usually takes 2 Oxy’s every 4-5hrs. He slept all night long. That hasn’t happened in months either.
I felt overwhelmed at being back in my ‘home’ church. It felt good to sing my hymns.
Christmas day was good. Nick was well rested, the kids well behaved, the food turned out awesome……
And on a HIGH note, we Skyped with Matteo on Christmas day for almost half an hour. He got to say hello to everyone……it was wonderful…I miss him so.
Corvin: Will be moving Dec 30th to a new host family. He’s been hacking up a lung for 2 days and NOT covering his mouth. So now I sound like Kermit the frog. Man, if Nick gets this…… I will be an unhappy camper.
Corvin isn’t doing his best to become part of our family. He doesn’t like the little kids to ‘bother him’. He’s always on my computer playing Legands. I’ve watched him play. It looks stoopid. He wouldn’t go with to Lucas’ birthday party yesterday. He wasn’t very communicative during Christmas. He sat at my desk with his feet up ignoring us.
I’ve had enough. I don’t need the stress of babysitting him, constantly being on him to do whatever, set the table, BE AT THE TABLE for the meal instead of taking a bite and running back to MY computer.
Where he is going, there are kids his age, mom is HOME to make sure he doesn’t pull the ‘not going to school’ thing, he will HAVE to go to the volleyball, baseball, basketball, wrestling things.
I just don’t have any of ME left to deal with his antics.
He doesn’t want to go. But he won’t shape up. So I’m done. I feel bad. But I feel NO guilt at this. I tried………….he wouldn’t help.
And I will have a mess to clean up in his room when he’s gone. That’s ok. It will give me time to mourn alone.