So I blew up last night……oops.

ff

I’m working a full time job.

I’m fighting to get enough orders every month for Pchef.
I’m trying to keep a house clean with 3 animals in it.

I’m shoveling snow this morning *grrrrrrrrrr*

I’m cooking, doing laundry, cleaning, getting ready for company.

All this on TOP of caring for Nick.

And the terror that goes with living with Cancer.

So last night, I’m trying to get the door open to fill up the dog food bucket. It went shut and pinched that tiny bit of skin on my knuckle that hurts like a sumbeach.  I blew up at the animals.

No big deal. They don’t understand English.

Earlier in the evening, Nick and I are talking how his brother B is coming to take him to lunch today.

How nice.

Flit in and flit out. Expect ME to email updates or text what’s happening at home. Nope. Not happening anymore. They can get off their asses and CALL HIM on occasion. I’m done doing daily updates. Have been done since that bullshit email about how I had to include LF on everything.

nope

not happening.

I’m sure he’s got me blocked. That makes me VERY happy. I don’t deal with disrespect very well. And I’ve had to deal with it for 20 plus years.

Anyway……we were sitting on the couch talking how B is coming down today. All day yesterday, I’m looking for someone to run Nick into the Concordia tonight for the meeting there.

So I said “B can run you into LaCrosse for the meeting. Then he can be there for one.”

Oh no!! That would be another hour for him to be driving! I can’t ask him to do that…..

I went silent……Didn’t say a word.

Then the dog food episode and pinching my finger happened.

Apparently that opened a flood gate.

I’m laying in bed and I just start almost hyperventilating. Nick asked what was wrong.

Wrong question to ask.

Basically I told him that if asking B for ONE LOUSY hour of his time was going to be a problem, then he needed to remember HOW MANY HOURS I have put into this benefit. (not to mention Meg and Rosanne and Kristi and who else….???)

 

So to me, that said I wasn’t even ON the fucking totem pole let alone being low man.

 

His family can’t LOWER THEMSELVES?????? to ask for donations?? <—Nick’s words. 

I told him I was done with this shit. That his family needs to STEP UP or get off.

I know it’s not fair to him to get mad about this shit. I told him that. I also told him I would GLADLY do this all over again.

But to have C tell me that that CHILD would pay Nick’s bills ($240? in 2+ months on his GoFundMe…..we are at $3,600 in 1 month on ours. His sister C wrote how she FULLY SUPPORTS the Child’s GoFundMe account….OK, well then why has only ONE SISTER put in $50? and it’s NOT her??)

OK, I’ve vented. Now it’s back to work time.