Really? This is FAMILY????

I feel I have to hold my feelings in check. I hear all the time how this is all about Nick. Nick and I are a couple. We have been for almost 22 years now. We have been friends for over 23 years. So isn’t this about US now? And what WE have left? Who has the right to make THAT determination?

SANITY isnt my strong point.jpg

Nick has wanted to sit in front of a fireplace at his brother B’s farm for a while now. This is a 3 hour drive, one way. He waits until a friend from Scotland is due here, before he decides to go. I’m like ‘really?’…. so he decides not to go. And he’s glad he didn’t.(but we hear about it) He really had a good time with A here. He ate good. He smiled a lot. And driving to the cities and part way back (less than 4 hours total) wore him out so he slept for 2 days.

Now, for this coming weekend, he and his sister L talked of going to her house. So he can drag yet another car carcass home. *rolls eyes*…’s also the weekend our 6, 9 and 12 year old grandsons wrestle at state tournaments.THE last time he may be able to watch them wrestle (unless we get a miracle.) A fact the 9 year old is having a VERY difficult time dealing with.

He must have told brother K because his brother chews his ass “You can drive 6 hours to HER house and not 3 hours to B’s?” WTF?

What Nick does or doesn’t do is NOT up for a discussion or ass chewing from his siblings.

How DARE they?? They don’t live in his body. He can do what he WANTS to. They don’t have the right to criticize his decisions. His brother K seems to have suddenly decide he is Dad and Nick needs to abide by HIS will, not Nicks.

And that needs to stop.


its hard when you miss someone but you were lucky enough to have someone worth missing


Over the last week or so, he has added 7#’s to his body. I don’t know where but the scale says so. He thinks he’s turned a corner and will beat this now. How can one turn a corner and get better when he’s not getting any Chemo on a regular basis?

But it something positive for him to hold on to. So I’m not saying a word to him about it.

I just got off the phone with Oncology……They’ll get back to me re: his appointments and about that tube out of his side. THEY claim he was seen on Friday.

um….no….he wasn’t. He sat by the phone waiting for YOU GUYS to call!

And now I’m sitting by the phone waiting for them to call and let me know when he has to go in again.

Scary how his importance DROPPED when he switched from one insurance to SSI huh??

Posted in Me

12 thoughts on “Really? This is FAMILY????

  1. NO, don’t ever hold your feelings in check. This is happening to the both of you as a couple. People really don’t get it , not till they have to go through something like this. I’m glad you are writing this out Boo. At least you can get some of it out in this way if nothing else. There is a lot I could say but all I really want to do is give you a big tight HUG.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve found out basically because Nick and I weren’t married, I wasn’t family. I must be the maid/laundress/hooker/cook?………..*scratches head* ………………I don’t know


  2. It is hard not to snap back. Holding my tongue has never been my strong suit. Somehow for the most part I managed. You are strong and loving hang in there you are doing a great job!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. For now it is not important what the ‘family’ thinks Nick needs to do, it is important for Nick to be able to spend his time doing as he wishes and you can be selfish with your time together. Family should understand that…but sounds like they don’t.
    Regarding the doc seeing him? If you go to urgent care of course they are forced to see him. I don’t know, keep calling and raising cain…I guess?
    The chemo is such a tough thing, it makes you so sick. Yet the doctors should have said why they are discontinuing it. Blood work? Infections? Ability for the body to handle it? It won’t do any good any more?
    Did they give you any reasons at all?
    On the other hand, it is a blessing that Nick is feeling better right now isn’t it?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He can’t have Chemo when his blood count is wrong. It will kill him instead. They have to clear up this ‘crap’ around the liver tube first. Tomorrow will be a LONG day for him. Starts with labs at 8:30am, then doc, then radiology to deal with that tube , then chemo if labs are good. *sigh*


    2. It’s AWESOME he’s feeling good! Just wish it was because the tumors were shrinking and going away….. His blood work must be in the correct range for Chemo. If it’s not, it will kill him instead of the cancer. Tomorrow will tell.


  4. Sounds to me like his family need to remember that he is the one with cancer, with pain, with crashing exhaustion, and get off THEIR overstuffed asses and make the damned effort to come see him, not expect him to drag across to them. Entitled assholes. And yes, I hope they read this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We do want to go to his sisters in Missouri. We want to see her place. But 4.5-5hrs of driving will wear him out more than the Chemo. So we’ll have to see……IF he gets Chemo tomorrow, he’ll be crashing Friday and Saturday and the wrestling tournament less than an hour away may be out too.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s