I forgot to title ANOTHER ONE??


Because this is what I’m like……..come Monday morning…..

Mona Lisa Monday.jpg

I really detest this living in limbo thing. I’m hoping the Endoscopy on Thursday will give us some kind of game plan. We have no idea how things are going. We have no idea if things are growing somewhere other than where the CT scan showed the other day.

I hear “don’t borrow trouble”.

I’m not. I want some kind of answer of what we can expect.

Are we wasting precious time doing Chemo that is doing NO good to us, but making a shitload of money for the hospital?

Last Thursday night, Nick was laying in the recliner, looking at me. I went over to sit next to him and asked what he wanted.

“A bullet.” he said as I told him “Don’t tell me a bullet.”

He says he doesn’t have any good days anymore.

Then Sunday, he had a spring in his step and a light in his eyes….today, I don’t know as he pissed me off last night and I left this morning without saying good bye. He called and was ‘tiptoeing’ around me early afternoon. ‘How’s yer Monday?’ It’s a Monday. ‘Monday from hell?’ I spose. I was still pissed.

He gets mad because I have things I want to do and get done. He wants me to do nothing but cuddle with him on the couch or in bed. Last night he got on the subject of his family. How I don’t treat THEM right. I’m the only one who has ever done anything wrong. To mention how his family treats me always brings up what a bitch I am.

The hell with that shit. They pull their shit outta the blue on me all the time. Not to mention the bullshit his child has pulled. I didn’t do it. That child did. And it’s time Nick understood that that child DOES DO WRONG.

But whatever.  Soon enough I won’t have to deal with any of their bullshit again anyway. I have enough on my plate. One would think they would HELP instead of HINDER.  That seems beyond them.


About Boo

Grandmother to 10....no 11....or is it 12 now? Getting back into life after losing the love of my life to cancer. Read my struggles with daily life........or don't. But I hope it helps ONE person get thru the same thing I went thru......
This entry was posted in Me. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to I forgot to title ANOTHER ONE??

  1. A Perfectmindstorm says:

    I think maybe I will just leave a ♥♥HUG♥♥ . I know this is a very difficult time for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. fredrieka says:

    The batting cages of emotions seem to be the game for the moment. I pray this two will pass. Do the hugging and cuddling screw the rest.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Nick is in his own little world of emotional hurt and pain and it is hard to see it from his point of view because you are trying so hard to keep it together and he has nothing but THAT to dwell on for his every waking moment now.
    He is angry
    He is frustrated
    He is sad
    He is tired
    He feels hopeless
    He feels alone … even though he isn’t.
    It is a very rough place for him [and you].

    Liked by 1 person

  4. yellowrose001 says:

    Love you … and hope somehow Nick’s health will improve, he’ll get well. The thing is, to live life during this time as normally as you can..but some extra cuddling might be needed.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s