For some reason, lately I’ve been wired when I get home and I cannot sleep. Last night it was after 11pm again. Nick hates it when I stay up later. He just wants me in bed to cuddle. Which I get. But I’d also rather let him get sleep. I would just lay there tossing and turning.
Last night, I finally went into bed after 11pm. Nick had rolled over on his right side so there was room for me to snuggle in behind him. He wants me to hold him as he is SO cold all the time. So I snuggled up behind him and started stroking his hair, just holding him close.
And discovered how little hair there is left. Wisps here and there but actually pretty uniform over his head. He has not lost CLUMPS that have left holes yet it is so thin, becoming grey….
And he is so thin. It’s heartbreaking. I laid there and sobbed.
So last night it hit … how am I going to take care of him? This is going to be beyond anything I’ve had to do over the last 20+ years. It makes the alcoholic thing look like a piece of cake. We’ve had some pretty rough patches over the last 22-23 years….and yet somehow we’ve always made it thru them.
This time it’s lookin’ kinda iffy..