…..sitting on my desk.
And I look at it. Occasionally.
But for some reason today, I really looked at it.
Notice the top photo?
Today when I looked at that photo, I just about lost it. I remember those shoulders and arms. I remember how they used to hold me. I remember how he could fix/lift/do anything.
Now I’m afraid of hugging for fear of breaking them.
And it’s beyond depressing knowing they are never gonna look like that again. And that’s what hit me today. I get that people change. Lord knows I’m not that slim gorgeous thing on the bar anymore either…..but still.
The second photo was from the same weekend.
We were in the Dells. And that was such fun.
I bought him a drover coat after that photo was taken. I now have 3 in my closet. They are a perfect coats for rainy weather at Jefferson. And I can’t get him to wear these nice warm coats. He’s gotta wear that ugly plastic thing the hood is coming off of and won’t keep him dry. (the mother in me coming out.)
He’s getting weaker every day. And having good ‘hours’ instead of ‘days’. This scares the shit outta me…………I have no idea what to expect.
Really should find a support group………….somewhere. Even if I have to start my own….