I woke up at 5am today with this going thru my mind.
IT’S SATURDAY!! GO BACK TO SLEEP!!! I CAN JUST SNUGGLE IN AND DRIFT OFF AGAIN!
Then reality hit. Nick says “It’s Friday.”
So now I’m trying to get myself to this level of excitement…….
So far, I’m here……
Today is Nick’s first round of Chemo again. He goes 3 weeks on, 1 week off. This is his first week back after having last Friday off. I need to find out when his next CT scan is. That will give us the answer to continue or to stop. I’d like to find out about Palliative Care but that requires speaking to someone and as soon as I start talking, my voice quits.
Hospice is for when there is 6 months or less left. I don’t know what we have left. No one knows. Unless this next CT Scan tells us. And I don’t even know when THAT is.
Cancer…..living in the unknown…..constantly.
The only ‘known’? …….. is his pain.