At least it has been lately……I know I’m getting relaxed and more able to sleep at night just having a glass before bed. But Nick bought Merlot instead of Riesling. *gag* I don’t know if I’ll try to choke it down or leave it for a party.
or …. as the sign says…after 2 or 3 glasses maybe I won’t give a shit!
Right now, I think our ‘bad thing’ is defining us. However I won’t let it destroy us. Nick has cancer. WE have a relationship that has weathered more storms that just this.
Our ex’s. I don’t think I have to explain what ass hats ex’s can be. And Nick’s was a doosey! She made our lives hell for all 18 years of child support/parenting time. And his kid carried it over and pulled his OWN crap….constantly.
My ex? I think I ended up with a form of PTSD because of his CONSTANT crap. I was on edge for 10 + years. I never knew WHEN he would pull something on me. Except when he got laid off in the late fall. I could always count on being dragged into court within a few weeks of his winter layoff.
Nick is an alcoholic. He quit, pretty much cold turkey. He doesn’t drink anything anymore (mostly because of the meds he’s on, he cannot) but there were times he’d be drinking till 2 or 3am at least 3 nights a week. I don’t know how I ever put up with it….or why sometimes. The times when money was SO tight because he’d be too hung over to get to work. I’m truly surprised he didn’t kill himself drinking.
That’s what makes this cancer so frustrating. We are ON the right track. We are as one in thinking and doing and WHAM … life throws you a curve ball that you cannot duck.
I hope it will strengthen me in the end. Because to live on without him…… will be the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do.