The beginning of the end….?

Thursday when Nick and I went to his doctor appointment, they did a CT Scan. It’s shows varying amounts of shrinkage, staying the same and growth. So between Nick, Doc G, and me, we have decided to stop Chemo for Nick. He is too weak, tired, and thin to continue getting this poison that isn’t working for him.

Beyond devastated is putting it mildly.

She also gave us the hope that MAYBE, JUST MAYBE….laying off Chemo for a bit, letting him get his taste buds back, and resting……may help enough to let him start it again. I don’t know how much hope I’m holding out on that tho….I’ve been watching this too long now.

Saturday. We had Hospice come out, started all the paperwork, got it signed, and they will be coming on Wednesday for his first home visit. They will help him so much more than I can. I can hold him and sooth him. They can manage his pain.

Then next Friday, Nick and I are leaving for a 10 day trip. It will be our last vacation together. I’m hoping to get someone to take photos of us smiling.


For this trip, I invested in a new to me car. No, not one dime of the benefit money went to pay for it either. I had to *gag* thank my ex on FB for belonging to the Operating Engineers 139. *smiles* ok it wasn’t that bad…..Anyway, when the ex retired on Dec 1, 2015, my 55th birthday, I started getting my portion of his pension from the OE139 because we were married more than 10 years. It has been a good help with Nick having no income.

Sunday. Father’s Day. My kids came up with all the grandchildren. My folks were there so I took them for lunch at our favorite place. The kids showed up about 3pm and we got the sprinkler going. Nekkid and half nekkid children everywhere!! It was such fun!!  Nick enjoyed watching them.

Then about 4:30pm this crew showed up.

Kiwi Krew

Louie’s friend Ben, Louie, (Nick,) & Allan (Louie’s Dad) from New Zealand. I call them the Kiwi Krew. Allan and Nick met about 3 years ago and have been fast friends ever since. Allan and krew were here as Louie is buying a car this time to ship back to NZ. Allan has done this 3 or 4 times already. Nick really perked up when Allan showed up. Our friends Tom, Marty and Mary were with them. They had all been to Back to the 50’s at the Minnesota State Fairgrounds in Minneapolis.

Nick and Allan

Nick is looking a little more worse for wear. But Allan thought he looked way better than the picture in his mind. It was wonderful to see them and difficult to watch them drive off a few hours later. I find it very sad they won’t see each other again.

Allan’s wife Julie sent along some gifts. Here are two I snarfed up for my desk at work. Too cute for words and the bird…makes Kiwi noise. It makes me giggle. And that’s hard to do right now.

New Zealand Pets

Sunday was a good day. I’m glad Papa got to see all the kids and spend some good time with his friends Allan, Louie, Tom, Marty, Mary, my folks, my kids…..he smiled all day.

I’m looking forward to our trip….it’s gonna just be a leisurely thing….something catches our eye? We’ll stop. I hope he can stand all the riding. I’ll be doing all the driving.

Thank you all for all your love, prayers and support…….


About Boo

Grandmother to 11....or is it 12 now? Getting back into life after losing the love of my life to cancer. Read my struggles with daily life........or don't. But I hope it helps ONE person get thru the same thing I went thru......
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6 Responses to The beginning of the end….?

  1. Ronda says:

    I hope you guys have a great trip, filled with lots of memories! (did you say you’re coming to CO?? wink, wink) ❤ ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  2. joliesattic says:

    Have fun! So nice for the friends that made him smile.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Maria says:

    The beginning yes, but not necessarily of the end Sue. You must never lose hope. This trip could be just what Nick needs, you dont know the power of a lifted spirit. You will make beautiful memories together, to be treasured forever. Have fun, be goofy and funny and laugh a lot. Try to forget the cancer and be Nick and Sue of 20 years ago. Good luck and God bless you both.

    Liked by 1 person

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