Yesterday was pretty rough….

….I called home about 1pm. LF answered the phone. (some know who that is, others……no need to worry)

“Where’s Nick?” I asked…wondering why he answered the phone instead of it going to voicemail.

“He’s in the bathroom.” OK, have him call me right away.

20 minutes later, Nick still hadn’t called so I called back.

LF again answered the phone. (Grrrr)

“Where’s Nick???” He’s still in the bathroom……He’s been in there like half an hour (like that fact JUST dawned on him)

I almost screamed into the phone GO CHECK ON HIM!!! (this apparently never occurred to LF till I told him to do it.) All I could see in my mind was Nick slumped on the floor.

Nick had been in the bathroom for over a half hour, nauseous, throwing up clear (not good) and then there was blood in it.

Hospice was finally called, Mark came out, got him situated and back on track. Nick slept most of the afternoon. Mark strongly suggested he get BACK on his anti nausea meds. They doubled his liquid Morphine. Oxycodone….he’s been taking ONE with the Morphine tablet. I made him take 2 LIKE THE LABEL SAYS!

When I got home, he was sitting in my green wing back chair. Looking like death warmed over. His color was so off, he looked like he was ready to tip over onto the floor. His voice, once so strong, is now barely audible. I dropped my bags(not a good idea with ceramic cups inside) and ran to him. He couldn’t find the remote. “I was on the couch but I couldn’t find the remote. I don’t know where it went….? Sue, I can hardly walk.” He was totally wiped out.

I grabbed the remote for him (was right next to where he was sitting on the couch), got him back on the couch, and just sat down and held him.blink of an eye

I think everything is coming to a head…

Peace and dignity. That’s all I ask.

Posted in Me

8 thoughts on “Yesterday was pretty rough….

  1. (((Hugs))). Sending you love and caring prayers. Do you have people/loved ones who can come and be with you now!!! Perhaps your children Sue?? These last days you really need physical presence of support!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do. People want to come ‘help’ me. I just don’t feel comfortable asking them to take care of the dishes or the floor and NO ONE touches my laundry……the one job I really like doing!


  2. Peace and dignity is my prayer. Yes, it may happen in a blink of an eye. Keep him on the regime and it will go well for him.


  3. It sounds as though he is beginning to fade and that hurts to watch and know. Let him be in peace. I don’t know the proper words for comfort because I’m not too good at that.
    But I am thinking of you two now…a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Skip just gave me the news, Sue.
    My heart goes out to you and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
    Now comes the busy time, when you will have so much to do it will keep your head spinning. Remember to eat.
    When all the activity dies down and the visitors and phone calls slow to a trickle and then cease… things will get very quiet and the enormity of your loss more keenly felt. Know I’m still here for you if you need to talk, or cry, or scream. (216-923-1363)

    May flights of angels carry him to his rest.





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