It was a rough night last night….

………….and I wasn’t really alone in the fact that Laurie stopped by, chatted a bit while she fixed her check.

And Nancy stopped by and brought me a stuffed green pepper. OMG YUM! Yes, I ate.

And Jon called and talked for 1 hour and 8 minutes. He’s called almost every night. He is really taking this hard.

And people were texting, WhatsApping and Facebook Messengering, and and and…

……….I got nothing done.


Don’t get me wrong….I love that people are not letting me sit and stew…but if you come over? Help me get some crap sorted….and photos taken so I can get this stuff online and sold. I have 2 years of stuff to do because I spent two years taking care of Nick and not my house.

My basement is a DISASTER! Who’s game!!?? ugh

Something or someone was lurking outside my bedroom window last night. Jegs was so restless and he kept looking at the window, then he jump off the bed and RAN for the front door. I let him out and he hightailed it to the back of the house. I didn’t hear him fight or bark so whatever/whomever it was, had already left.

I don’t need that right now either.

So falling asleep last night …………didn’t happen. Not easily. I think it’s the first time I cried myself to sleep.

And man I can feel it today.

Something just welled up in me and I lost it.

I miss him.

You DID spend the rest of your life with me



Posted in Me

12 thoughts on “It was a rough night last night….

  1. Well, it’s a good thing you have a dog to look after you.
    It will get better, in time. Obviously all the stuff you feel you have to do has waited two years and if it has to, can wait a wee bit longer. Some of it anyway. I know you have a job to probably get back to so there’s that. The thing is, keeping busy can be cathartic . Whatever you do, don’t make any hasty decisions regardless of who is clamoring at your door. They can wait too. Just let them know it will get taken care of. Tune out ugly voices, they are not worth worrying about and don’t let their ugliness rub off on you. It will get easier and if you need space, let people know you need time out, “today”. You don’t want them to run off and never come back, obviously. If it means setting time aside on another day, set it with them. The trouble is, people show up at the onset thinking that is when they are needed not realizing that it’s further down the road when the dust settles that you will really need them. They may be awkward about it, but people for the most part mean well. You will have good days and bad and the first year is the hardest.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You will. If you could get through the other, you can get through this, just don’t look too far ahead. Take it one day at a time, hard as they may be.
        We’re here for you and Trust. I will keep checking on you.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Sue. You are very overwhelmed right now. So much to do, so little time, it feels. Just take it one day at a time, one hour at a time if you have to. Things will all eventually get done in time. Don’t push yourself. Losing a beloved spouse and grief is time consuming. Just be gentle on yourself. You aren’t on a time table. Hang in there.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Sorting out the grief is the hardest. I must say you are strong. I know you do not think so but you are because what you write here is clear and concise, your brain is sorting it out. A year from now, come back to these pages re-read them and you will see God’s hand in every step you took.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Oh yes, thank you’s. Thank you cards are the least of your concern at this time, but I know how that feels. You’re numb and the craziest things will come to mind, like thank you’s. Odd isn’t it? The one thing getting them done does, is they are one of the easier things to do and gives you a sense of forward movement. Your friends don’t expect them so soon, but whatever makes you feel better, do.

        Liked by 1 person

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