Days, evenings, and nights

Days … I do alright most of the day. I have my job and phones, co-workers and customers that keep me occupied. Some want to tell me they are sorry for my loss. And during the day I can take it. We chat a bit about Nick and they go on their way. I go back to work and think about what they’ve said, look at our photo on my desk.

And miss him.

Evenings … I have so many things to do to get my house back in order after 8 months of not being able to do MY stuff. I was so focused on caring for Nick that my house is a disaster. I’m getting 3 new windows installed today so I have no CHOICE but to get the dining room done tonight. So many things to sort thru and throw away.

And miss him.

Nights … those are so hard. I climb into bed and I’m alone. The dog hops up and sleeps on the bottom corner of his side. The cat can’t leave me alone now. He’s all over me all night. He may get banned.

I lay there….thinking of him, holding his robe close, crying now, and looking at the photo of us on his dresser. Memories flood over me. I think of how he talked with me, held me, loved me, and that heartbeat so strong.

And I miss grateful for every day





About Boo

Grandmother to 11....or is it 12 now? Getting back into life after losing the love of my life to cancer. Read my struggles with daily life........or don't. But I hope it helps ONE person get thru the same thing I went thru......
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7 Responses to Days, evenings, and nights

  1. fredrieka says:

    I remember what my mom said after my dad passed “I know he was ill and suffering. But it was nice he was still here. I am not sure what to do with my wedding ring. What’s the use.” They were together since she was 16 years old 45 years. she knew nothing else. She was ill in 2 years she was gone. I had only know taking care of someone myself. Then my Mother in law, and Father in law. Once I was done being the caregiver I did not know what to do with myself. Now after 10 years I am finally coming into who I am. A freelance writer. Discover who you are before your 63.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. joliesattic says:

    I couldn’t say it better Fredrieka. It is hard finding what to do with yourself once the center of your life is gone. For me, I still have my hubby, but like yourself, I spent so many years caring for my parents and others that I still flounder at what to do with myself, so I write.

    Liked by 1 person

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