So last night, I get home from work, hug and kiss my daughter good bye….(she’d been up helping me get ready for company), grabbed the keys to this, hopped in, fired her up, and off we went to Ford Night at Lakeview Drive In in Winona.
It wasn’t that easy.
I could see Nick in the truck with me. I couldn’t breathe. My eyes started leaking and they wouldn’t stop. I could hear him telling me how to drive that truck. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t turn that truck around either. It just kept going towards Winona.
I knew the first time I fired her up and drove would be difficult but Holy Buckets…..That was beyond even what I was expecting. I got in this crowd of people and I’m still crying. And for some reason I JUST couldn’t turn around. It’s like I NEEDED to be there.
Then I found Blaine. He had stopped by Nick on the way down. His eyes were red too. So that sent me into fresh waves…….
Each new “Without Nick” experience will be rough…..and yet bring me closer to healing and learning to cope without him.
Not that I want to.
I have to.
I miss him.