They’re circling….


I’m sorry. I’m just finding this…..odd? I’ve known these guys for 10 to 30 plus years.

And I watch them jockey for time to spend with me….now that Nick is gone.

Can I be alone for a while? Granted I’ve been grieving for Nick for way over a year. But still…….

Nick and I joked about my finding someone new…..I’d say to him….”Thanks for throwing me back out into the dating scene!!!” He would reply with “Well, So and So has waited long enough.” Thereby giving his blessing to this guy. I told him I wanted to pick my own IF I decide to get into another relationship. Which could be a while.

The one man I had thought would be fun to get to know on a more intimate level later…..suddenly is no longer interested. I’m no longer forbidden so I must not be as much fun. But I did think we were friends………


It will be awhile before anything really happens. I think I’m maintaining pretty good and then there are days I simply cannot breathe. But they are getting further apart as I continue to remember he is no longer in pain. That he IS in a better place.

I hope you and Bear are having some good times hon!!

I miss him more than words can say. I miss his hands on me, his lips on mine, his body next to me. More than 22 years is a long time and I know how I am feeling.

So I can’t hardly imagine the pain of losing someone after 50plus years together. I think I can now understand why the surviving spouse only lasts 6 months sometimes. Dying of a broken heart is true.

You can.

Be yourself no matter what

Posted in Me

7 thoughts on “They’re circling….

  1. Hard to leave an answer on this. For me? Nope, never another relationship ever. But that is JUST me so don’t think I am being a prudish b*tch okay?
    Alone for me would be a good thing. No one to schedule around, no one to answer to, and I could pursue all my creative venues without coaching.
    Sounds terrible, right?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I won’t think you are a prudish biotch….you are my friend and friends don’t judge. You and GG are going strong and well and I pray that keeps going.

      Me? I don’t know. We’ll see where the strong winds blow.


  2. I have now basically been alone for 16 years. I know I am set in my everyday ways. I have lost a few ‘friends’ the past 2 years ……. it is becoming ore and more painful. The people who now circle I tend to ignore I suspect out of self preservation for my heart.

    Sue I hope you do what feels right for you.


    Liked by 1 person

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