The Eye Bank sent me a letter….

…and told me where the two people that got Nick’s corneas are located. They first offered their deepest condolences then thanked Nick thru me for his generosity, and mine, too, in allowing them to go forward and harvest his corneas. This was a given. Both Nick and I are donors. I am just sad they couldn’t use more of him to help others. Cancer took from more people than just him when he died.

Anyway…..I knew where one town was. I now know where the other is.

In a year, I’ll be able to meet these two men.

Nick for paper

And I know I won’t see Nick in their eyes.

I’ll just be very happy he helped them to see again.

And tell them what a wonderful man he was and will always be…..

… MY eyes.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It’s been 6 weeks now. I still sit in our bed and talk to him. Miss him. Want him here. Wanting him holding me, touching me, making love with me, laughing, talking and just BEING with me.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I’m seriously considering moving my bedroom upstairs. Making a change. I want to move along with my life. I can mourn him all day every day in my heart and my mind. But I have to move forward in my life. Do things that will help me move on and be happy being ME again.

So I bought a freakin’ kayak. I’ve always wanted to learn. Well NOW I have to!! ahhahahahah…I’m excited about it. Something I can look forward to doing. I have several people ready to rock and roll across the water…….SO LET’S GO!!

For the most part I’m doing OK. I have times when I can’t breathe, but they are getting further apart now. There are times when memories overwhelm me. But they are getting easier to deal with as I keep telling myself, he no longer hurts. I remember those episodes of pain when all he wanted was a bullet.

Now the pain is mine………it’s just in my heart instead.

I’ll make it through.

I always do.


About Boo

Grandmother to 11....or is it 12 now? Getting back into life after losing the love of my life to cancer. Read my struggles with daily life........or don't. But I hope it helps ONE person get thru the same thing I went thru......
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7 Responses to The Eye Bank sent me a letter….

  1. joliesattic says:

    So glad to hear about the cornea transplants. I understand the need to get going again. Allow yourself to grieve, DON’T be in too big of a hurry is all I say. Yet, I know the feeling.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dang, I have been looking at a kayak for the Kickapoo river. Heck I’ve rented enough canoes this summer for a down payment on one.
    Good choice for getting out and getting healed by nature.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. fredrieka says:

    Making simple changes is the best step forward

    Liked by 1 person

  4. littlewhip says:

    Take the ring off, Sue. And yes, move into another bedroom. It’s not just you who needs to move on, it’s Nick.

    Liked by 1 person

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