There are times I know this is true….

we-love-someone-because-they-sing-a-song-only-we-can-hear

The song Nick sang………..was the one I could hear.

As he could hear mine.

Lots of people thought Nick wasn’t good looking, smart, or worthy of me. I don’t know why. To me, he was the handsomest thing EVAH! I loved my conversations with him. Lively and fun. He was very smart. And my heart was content when I was with him.

I had supper last night with Nick’s best friend from way back. Joe and I got to reminiscing. The stories he told brought back more memories for me. Our mutual love for Nick will keep us as friends forever.

It was wonderful hearing the same old stories again. Joe told the one about hiding Nick’s beer in the crisper drawer of his fridge. Men NEVER go in there! Only this time, I could hear Nick’s voice saying “You drank all my fucking beer???” aaaaaaaaaaaaaahahhahahaha. You can imagine my thoughts when my daughter showed me the inside of her new fridge…only to see the beer in the same place Joe had hidden Nick’s all those years ago!

As wonderful as these memories are, they are also painful.

Driving into work today, after I hung up the phone with a fun and funny conversation with K, it hit me again, and I started losing it. Just as I am doing again typing this all out.

Maybe you all don’t want to hear it anymore.

So don’t read me.

It’s helping me to put this down “On Paper” so to speak. I think if I’d had better knowledge of blogs and their therapeutic effect back during my divorce, I’d have been better able to handle it.

I just know getting this stuff out of my head, helps me.

I miss him more than words can say.

And maybe, just maybe, one day I’ll tear down the wall around my heart and love again. I just know it will never be close to what I had with Nick.

That is a once in a lifetime thing.

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2 Responses to There are times I know this is true….

  1. OJ says:

    ‘Getting it down on paper” always helped me too….especially during a divorce. Those thoughts just rattle around in the old noggin’ – until you get them down on paper (or computer). They don’t go away – it is just easier to compartmentalize them and deal with them,,,,,for me anyway.

    I hope you heart and soul can find some solace with each passing day…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Boo says:

      Hello to my favorite Gropeateer! I’ve missed everyone ……

      Finding solace …… sometimes. You know how I felt about Nick. I miss him beyond words.

      But writing it out helps me remember and I have a place to come back and read and remember some more.

      Hugs you!!

      Like

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