The song Nick sang………..was the one I could hear.
As he could hear mine.
Lots of people thought Nick wasn’t good looking, smart, or worthy of me. I don’t know why. To me, he was the handsomest thing EVAH! I loved my conversations with him. Lively and fun. He was very smart. And my heart was content when I was with him.
I had supper last night with Nick’s best friend from way back. Joe and I got to reminiscing. The stories he told brought back more memories for me. Our mutual love for Nick will keep us as friends forever.
It was wonderful hearing the same old stories again. Joe told the one about hiding Nick’s beer in the crisper drawer of his fridge. Men NEVER go in there! Only this time, I could hear Nick’s voice saying “You drank all my fucking beer???” aaaaaaaaaaaaaahahhahahaha. You can imagine my thoughts when my daughter showed me the inside of her new fridge…only to see the beer in the same place Joe had hidden Nick’s all those years ago!
As wonderful as these memories are, they are also painful.
Driving into work today, after I hung up the phone with a fun and funny conversation with K, it hit me again, and I started losing it. Just as I am doing again typing this all out.
Maybe you all don’t want to hear it anymore.
So don’t read me.
It’s helping me to put this down “On Paper” so to speak. I think if I’d had better knowledge of blogs and their therapeutic effect back during my divorce, I’d have been better able to handle it.
I just know getting this stuff out of my head, helps me.
I miss him more than words can say.
And maybe, just maybe, one day I’ll tear down the wall around my heart and love again. I just know it will never be close to what I had with Nick.
That is a once in a lifetime thing.