Participating in life……

Lanesboro football.jpg

I love that kid to the moon and back…

Actually I love all my ‘kids’, be they my kids, grandkids, foreign kids, in-law kids and friends of my kids…….I have a great  bunch of people with them.

46-14 over Lanesboro last night! WOOOOOOOOOT !! It was the most exciting game I’ve seen in a long time…LOVED it! The blonde kid I’m hugging plays almost the whole game every game. I’m so proud of him……

L to R: Grandson Cullan, me, Brandon and wife Becca (my son and dil) Jay and Tay (foster sons) and in the green, little Diva Miss Juliana Rose, sister to Cullan and 3 more brothers. Spoiled? nah….She snuggled with Nonna last night and shared popcorn with me.

Nonna and Jules at Lanesboro football game.jpeg

Earn and I went to the game and she froze. It got kinda chilly. I’m wearing my half a dead cow. But we didn’t care! We were screaming along with the rest of them!

I got home about 10:30pm and went up to walk with K. I’m noticing things ARE actually toning up a bit. *or maybe I’m just hoping* I’m getting to where I’m craving the walking like I do with water now that I don’t drink soda anymore.

Lemon, ice cubes and water. My favorite drink…next to Smirnoff. *snortz*

K pulled out a box of old photos. Uh oh….One of my favorite things to do. Next thing I know it’s 1:30am…crap! I’m draggin’ ass today.

Louie and me.jpg

My 228lb buddy, Louie. He’s such a love….Yes, his head is the size of a basketball. He adores me. And I just love him to bits. He’s such an affectionate hairball……

I had left my phone in the car to charge. When I got in the car to head home, there was a message on my phone. My 93 year old aunt I am going to see in Michigan over Thanksgiving is in ICU. They have now moved her to palliative care. And we wait. She is a very strong woman with lots of reasons and a strong will to live. Prayers would be appreciated.

I think about the possibility of losing another so important in my life, and it about incapacitates me.  Auntie has always ‘been there’ for everyone. She’s been the ‘cornerstone’ of this family since Gramma Lola died in 1991.

I can’t do the ‘one every 6 month’ thing like I did in ’89-’91. 5 people. One every 6 months or so. All I did was go to funerals and wakes. It was nuts. Or the Jan 2013. Jan 5 – Jan 15 thing where Nick and I lost 10 people. One every day. From his brother to parents of dear friends. It was another rough row.

And as painful as it’s been losing those I love, I’m not pulling into myself and going numb. I have kids and grandchildren who need me and I love them too much to not be there. Yes, I was numb for a bit but I still participated in life. There is no other option. And those that struggle should remember the rest of us are here for them.

After the last two years, not many should be more withdrawn than I. Today is the 2 year anniversary of the start of Nick’s cancer journey.

Today.

I should be laying in bed unable to get up. But I’m at work. I’m laughing at , oops, I mean with customers and participating in life.

And I have another football game Tuesday night.

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4 Responses to Participating in life……

  1. Not sure what to say to that lady. I could say that I’m sorry, but how many times can one hear that even when the first time something no so well happens? For me when my mother passed in 2006 and for my father when he passed in 2012, I was so tired of people telling me that. However, I do hope that things work out for the better lady…that’s all I can say…. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That is what Rich said he wants when his time comes. Of course I’ll kick and scream and raise hell.
    That said, it isn’t a laughing matter. When I first met Rich it seemed he dragged me to a funeral or wake at least once a week.
    When my father in law fell ill we stood by and let him go as was his wish. I was stunned at the lack of emotion I felt.
    However it did take me over while riding Badger through the woods later. I lost my dad in 6 weeks after that to a freak accident.
    Again. Stunned. I had a total melt down months later when I presented a slide video to honor him.
    We all grieve differently and deal with it different and I respect that.

    Liked by 1 person

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