I thought I would….

please-dont-judge

….repost this picture ….

I don’t think my “daily struggle ” is as intense as it was in the first weeks and months.

Learning to accept that Nick is not coming back (pause as that truck hits me once AGAIN) will be a daily thing for the rest of my life.  He and I had something special.  Something I don’t think I will find again.

Which, if you stop to think about it, makes sense. Any man I meet and decide to spend time with isn’t going to be like Nick. He will be his own person; I cannot compare him to Nick.  That would not be fair.

I have this wall that just literally flies up around my heart when I think about the future and the possibility of loving again.  Am I afraid of forgetting Nick? Of enjoying life without him? I told him before he died that I couldn’t see myself loving anyone else.

And yet……as time passes and my heart heals, I find myself thinking more and more about not being alone for the rest of my life.

If I find someone, it will be a whole different kind of love. I have had the love of my life already.

So what kind of love will a new man inspire in me. . . . . ?

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About Boo

Grandmother to 10....no 11....or is it 12 now? Getting back into life after losing the love of my life to cancer. Read my struggles with daily life........or don't. But I hope it helps ONE person get thru the same thing I went thru......
This entry was posted in Me. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to I thought I would….

  1. Val Ewing says:

    Don’t worry about it so much. Sit back and let things be. That is the best thing to do. I … think.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ronda says:

    ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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