….repost this picture ….
I don’t think my “daily struggle ” is as intense as it was in the first weeks and months.
Learning to accept that Nick is not coming back (pause as that truck hits me once AGAIN) will be a daily thing for the rest of my life. He and I had something special. Something I don’t think I will find again.
Which, if you stop to think about it, makes sense. Any man I meet and decide to spend time with isn’t going to be like Nick. He will be his own person; I cannot compare him to Nick. That would not be fair.
I have this wall that just literally flies up around my heart when I think about the future and the possibility of loving again. Am I afraid of forgetting Nick? Of enjoying life without him? I told him before he died that I couldn’t see myself loving anyone else.
And yet……as time passes and my heart heals, I find myself thinking more and more about not being alone for the rest of my life.
If I find someone, it will be a whole different kind of love. I have had the love of my life already.
So what kind of love will a new man inspire in me. . . . . ?