…..will look like this year.
I don’t have a lot of choice in sticking around for Christmas….but no one says I have to stay sober. Or even go anywhere. Oblivion seems a pretty good looking option right now. After the ‘rents and the g’kids go home or I get home.
I will go though. It’s Earn’s first Christmas here. I am going to do my damnedest to make it good. She deserves it even though this will be incredibly painful for me to sit through. I know someone is going to say “Papa isn’t here.” Last weekend, Lennox asked if we could wake up Papa now.
Thanksgiving was hard. Even though I was in a place with no Nick Thanksgiving memories, there were still memories of us there. After 23 years, there are few places where I don’t see him…
20 weeks on Friday. Months already. I think of sitting on the bench at the cemetery and he’s SO close I could touch him. Sometimes it’s all I can do not to lay on the ground.
Tomorrow is my birthday. The best present would be for him to come to me in a dream I can remember.
Faith is a gift. I can open my hands to receive it. ~HAL