I knew this day was going to be hard…………and it was. It was something I needed to get through.
And I was bound and determined to spend part of it with Nick. So I left home around 915 or so, drove the 45 minutes to Nick, spent my time with him, then got home around noon. I took along a lawn chair so I had somewhere to sit. Cause that bench is COLD when it’s only 30° outside.
I told him about the g’kids growing. How Lennox misses him like I do. How much I miss him. And wish he was still here. What I was doing for the weekend….just like the journal I started…..talking to him like he is still here.
Then I went home. Drained. And had to prepare to meet a bunch of people I didn’t know. My friend Kevin had invited my daughter, Earn and I to spend Christmas Eve with them since my son was gone to Maryland and my daughter had other plans. This way I didn’t have to sit home alone for my first Christmas Eve. I was more than a bit apprehensive. He has 3 sisters!
It actually was a lot of fun. New people, new venue? Made a world of difference. Kevin’s family is nuts. Earn made a wonderful new friend in Hannah. Hoping to get Earn and Hannah together Thursday night. I stood there watching those two girls connect like RIGHTNOW. And it was wonderful. They all made me feel welcome and like I’d been part of the family for years instead of the first time meeting all but 2 of them. I told Earn at 4:15 that I was going to church. “You come back here?” Yes, I won’t leave you with these people…..they all LAUGHED……oops.
I left at 430pm and went to church. I had to go. It was one year ago Christmas Eve that I had this overwhelming urge to get to a Christmas Eve Service. The Methodist Church in a neighboring town was suggested to us as one we would like. Nick promised if he got a nap in, that he would go with me. Little did we know that night what chain of events this would put in motion.
Three months and 2 days after going to that service, Nick and I married after being engaged for 20 years. Amazing huh?
I sat through the service Saturday night, my eyes leaking but I could breathe. The service was very nice. A lot different from a year ago, which I think helped. After it was over, I went up and sat in the chapel again. It is SO different when it’s dark. People kept going in and out of the room so I didn’t get my peaceful time alone. But I did sit there and thank Nick for being in my life.
Back to Joan’s house I went, barely able to see the road I was losing it. I should have just stopped and had Kevin come get me, but I knew he was in the middle of his family Christmas so I wasn’t going to interrupt that.
When I arrived, I kept hearing “Oh! Sue’s back!”, so after 3 times I just hollered ‘SUE’S BACK!!’ so everyone knew. They laughed. Again. *sigh* Easy audience!
I will open my heart to the love that is around me. ~HAL