I’m not getting to listen

….to music much anymore. And I’m finding myself sinking deeper into a black hole of despair.


You may think that sounds rather melodramatic but it’s not. I went into a deep depression during my divorce. I climbed out….not with music but by sheer will…..yet I feel myself being pulled back in again. This past weekend, I couldn’t look at a photo of Nick without losing it. I couldn’t think of him without losing it. I don’t know why. I’m hoping it was just ‘one of those kinds of days’ and I’ll move along again soon.

Ya, moving along.

There were several guys that had no problem telling me, sometimes even in front of Nick, that they wanted to date me.

Where are they now? Nowhere to be seen. I’m no longer forbidden. What a joke those guys were. One even got MAD at me for wearing a diamond (my engagement ring) YOU DIDN’T GO DO SOMETHING STUPID LIKE GET MARRIED DIDJA?….wtf? #1 None of your business. #2 ew, I wouldn’t go out with you ANYWAY….

This is how I felt about them anyway. I had Nick. What did I need them for?

My anger and fear started rearing their ugly heads this weekend. I did turn it to something productive and swept part of my basement, got 2 doors painted, some trim fixed and some bent over nails straightened.

I think I need to get angry more often!

~ “The pain of losing him is easier to bear than the pain of his rejection.” ~

Posted in Me

7 thoughts on “I’m not getting to listen

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