Anxious isn’t the word for it right now. I feel like I’m reliving Nick’s last few days, weeks and some of our life together. Memories are pouring over me right now and I’m barely able to function it seems. I keep putting one foot in front of the other but MAN…..I’d like to BREATHE! It’s time for a get away weekend.
Sometimes I think I will wake up and this will all be a bad dream. Then I look over to his side of the bed and it’s empty.
And it slams into me again. Jan 22nd is 6 months. A half a year already. And it still seems like yesterday.
I can’t let him go. He made me happy. It’s these memories that are knocking me to my knees right now.
I stand in the shower and cry. Because I can. The unfortunate thing is you can see it on the outside now. I’m looking worse for wear. I think I need some time off.
Time for a mental health day as I feel a bad case of the phuckits coming on.
It might be contagious.
~Today I give you something to ponder………….Death was Nature’s way of telling you to slow down.– Terry Pratchett (Strata, 1981) Slow down and enjoy life while you are living.