Tuesday thoughts…..


There are days when I wonder.

Tell me? Are my posts getting ‘brighter’? Less maudlin about Nick and more about me moving on? I just want to enjoy life again and constantly being upset about Nick is preventing that. I’m beginning to put a time and place for my ‘upset’ in place. I’m trying to be more upbeat and happy. I just don’t like feeling like I’m being untrue to him. He is gone; as MUCH as I hate that, and the days I can’t wrap my head around that are getting further apart.

It is still surreal he is gone. I see photos and videos of him and think I had a wonderful man in my life. At the second party Saturday night, one of the guys told me “I really miss talking to Nick.” We all do hon. We all do.

Doctor says I have Plantar Fasciitis. I need most likely a shot directly in to my heel. Yay. Not.

I have 2 more appointments. Yay. Yup…..I knew this doctor crap would be NOT fun. But it’s been at least 3 years? since I’ve been…..spose I should. Don’t yell at me. I’ve been a little busy then a lot dazed and confused.



About Boo

Grandmother to 10....no 11....or is it 12 now? Getting back into life after losing the love of my life to cancer. Read my struggles with daily life........or don't. But I hope it helps ONE person get thru the same thing I went thru......
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7 Responses to Tuesday thoughts…..

  1. fredrieka says:

    It used to be dark
    It used to be dark this time of day,
    His life was slipping away
    My heart slipped into the night
    The abyss was calling for our souls
    We held to our faith
    Holding to each promise of life
    Even in the darkness
    Now he is gone,
    Yet I still belong to him.
    No wonder of this world can begin.
    Until the savages of grief have passed.
    Can I finally rise up from the ash?
    As a phoenix from the abyss fly’s free.
    I still need to live the breath given to me.
    Turning each corner as I walk this earth,
    I look for my moment of rebirth.
    I know my love is not home alone.
    He sees the images of my moan.
    He never judges my steps forward.
    Knowing this, my soul cries out,
    My heart will never be morbid.
    I am not really alone he is ever present.
    Memories can guide our soul’s yearnings
    My soul mate would never begrudge
    I will be given a nudge in the right direction
    I will always hope for my own perfection.
    My prayer is to be granted a reprieve
    Finding someone to love once again
    Beginning a new journey to the end.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Val Ewing says:

    I had Plantar Fasciitis … I ended up getting ‘taped’ for it and we did some other things. Much nicer than a shot!
    I know you miss Nick, but you have to start looking forward? If you can.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Boo says:

      I am…..but it’s still with a lot of caution because there are days still I can’t wrap my head around him being gone and I feel like I’m cheating on him. It’s a THOUGHT and a physical STOP and remember that I’m NOT …. VERY strange.


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