Thank you Yellowrose……

~~“You know that place between asleep and awake, that place you will remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you, Peter Pan….. That’s where I’ll be waiting” ~~J.M. Barrie

My friend YR sent this on yesterday’s post. It’s so appropriate my eyes just started to leak thru my smiles. I will always miss him, I will always love him, I’ll be waiting to be with him again one day. I would love for him to come to me in a dream, but then I have him with me on my videos and voice mails. I know I’ll never see him again. Because a dream…..is just that. A dream.

~~’Fairies have to be one thing or the other, because being so small they unfortunately have room for one feeling only at a time.  ~~Peter Pan, “Peter Pan” by J.M. Barrie

There are many times I wish I was a fairy……as the emotions can be overwhelming. I was sitting at my desk last night, getting taxes ready to go to the lawyer. I kept running across the receipts for medicine, the appointment lists, and his blood #’s that would decide Chemo or no. And of course, it just hits me anew. I stopped. Put down my pencil. And just sat there. Feeling INCREDIBLY ALONE.

I’m sitting at my desk. Alone. I look up and I don’t see him. I can’t get up and go sit with him and talk on the couch, or go into the bedroom and snuggle up with him. I can’t call him just to say “hey, I miss you, when will you be home?”

I am alone. And it’s such a foreign feeling. So odd to be sitting there KNOWING I can’t go find him.

So instead I look at his photo.

nick-saying-something-most-likely-entirely-inappropriate

And know that I loved him enough to let him go.

To let him be at peace.

And now?  I have to find mine.

life-is-not-a-fairy-tale-if-you-lose-your-shoe-you-are-drunk

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About Boo

Grandmother to 10....no 11....or is it 12 now? Getting back into life after losing the love of my life to cancer. Read my struggles with daily life........or don't. But I hope it helps ONE person get thru the same thing I went thru......
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