Thank you Yellowrose……

~~“You know that place between asleep and awake, that place you will remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you, Peter Pan….. That’s where I’ll be waiting” ~~J.M. Barrie

My friend YR sent this on yesterday’s post. It’s so appropriate my eyes just started to leak thru my smiles. I will always miss him, I will always love him, I’ll be waiting to be with him again one day. I would love for him to come to me in a dream, but then I have him with me on my videos and voice mails. I know I’ll never see him again. Because a dream…..is just that. A dream.

~~’Fairies have to be one thing or the other, because being so small they unfortunately have room for one feeling only at a time.  ~~Peter Pan, “Peter Pan” by J.M. Barrie

There are many times I wish I was a fairy……as the emotions can be overwhelming. I was sitting at my desk last night, getting taxes ready to go to the lawyer. I kept running across the receipts for medicine, the appointment lists, and his blood #’s that would decide Chemo or no. And of course, it just hits me anew. I stopped. Put down my pencil. And just sat there. Feeling INCREDIBLY ALONE.

I’m sitting at my desk. Alone. I look up and I don’t see him. I can’t get up and go sit with him and talk on the couch, or go into the bedroom and snuggle up with him. I can’t call him just to say “hey, I miss you, when will you be home?”

I am alone. And it’s such a foreign feeling. So odd to be sitting there KNOWING I can’t go find him.

So instead I look at his photo.

nick-saying-something-most-likely-entirely-inappropriate

And know that I loved him enough to let him go.

To let him be at peace.

And now?  I have to find mine.

life-is-not-a-fairy-tale-if-you-lose-your-shoe-you-are-drunk

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