Him: Hi, can I talk to T please?
Me: Is this you Tom? Were you trying to sneak by me today?
Him: Yes, but I didn’t recognize your voice! You have a cold don’t you?
Me: Yes, and I have plans for the weekend. You want it? Please take it!
Him: No, I can’t take it but you can give it away. Go to McDonald’s. There’s a good place to get rid of …or Walmart. Go to Walmart. Ya, that’s better. LOTS of people there you can give it to.
(By then I’m rolling on the floor. Tom is so deadpan when he talks….cracked me up!)