this is all I have today…..

bitching or verbal release therapy

asylum

calm down we are all nuts here

100 percent at work

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I’m feeling overwhelmed……

I decided to retire from Pampered Chef. I put a note in my email signature that my website will be closing as of June 30th. That if you want to order from it before it closes, let me know.

I get an email from a friend “OH NO!! PAMPERED CHEF IS CLOSING?????”

pink products.jpg

*facepalms*  This is PRECISELY why I am quitting. People don’t read.

I got her back tho…”What???? Where did you read that?????”

Then I said, No, MY website is closing. The one I put in the note? It doesn’t say http://www.pamperedchef.com . It says http://www.pamperedchef.biz/any….etc.

Oh I misread it.

Ya, ya did………but that’s OK.

I’m upset with myself for not having more patience but I guess I really do expect people to read and not skim. It makes me have to do things twice. And I don’t feel like I have the time to deal with stuff twice.

I’m just feeling so overwhelmed again.

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I’ve been talking to this guy online for almost 3 months. And while I cannot wait for him to be here, all this talking is a good thing … we are getting to know each other pretty well. I like it.  He found out some things I don’t like, I’ve found out things he does. It’s a win/win. I enjoy trying to decipher what he really means. Sometimes translating from German to English is funny. Cracks me up. His voice is sexy to listen to but then women are always suckers for an accent. Me included.

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Daughter goes back to Thailand 2 weeks from today. I’m kind of in a state of denial. I love this girl. She’s been a perfect joy to have with me. She’s so smart and fun and has helped me through so rough stuff. Missing her doesn’t quite cover it. I can’t wait to go see her there.

And yet I am looking forward to having a couple months on my own. Well, not quite on my own. AW will be here. On and off. He has his own house to deal with.

I leave for Italy on Aug 8th. And bring my next new daughter home with me. I can’t wait for 10 days of not dealing with things!!

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My friend had to put his dog down this morning. Brings Bear back fresh in my mind and the pain that goes with losing a beloved member of the family.

bear and pony show

Yes, that is a miniature horse he’s lookin’ at. Annie, the blond, was his g/f at Jefferson.

Hard as it is to take, he is in a better place and not suffering. We just suffer the loss forever. I know I am still grieving over my Bear. Jegs makes a bit easier. Altho he is over 8 years old now. If Jegs makes it past the end of July, he’ll be the longest living dog I have had in almost 30 years. I hope he makes me for many more years. He’s my dog, my bud, my companion, my friend and my hugger. I love that almost human….

DOGS AND CATS LIVING TOGETHER 004.jpg

Tell those you love, that you do. And have a wonderful evening….

Posted in Me

Today is like this…..

SPILLED MILK SPILLED COFFEE

Yesterday wasn’t the best day.

First my beloved dog, Jegs, needed surgery. He had jammed something from the corn or hay field up in the webbing between his toes and it had festered. I didn’t even know he’d done it. He kept licking but I thought it was something he scraped while running. He’s always running. Especially since I got Bohdi. Bohdi bugs him. Bohdi won’t stop picking on him. So Jegs runs. Doc got him sedated and did a check. Not only had he done the corn stalk thing, there was a mass on his pad.

Wait………..what?

Ya, I’ll take it off and I highly recommend you have it sent into Madison for testing.

JEGS FOOT.jpeg

Crap. No. I’m not going to. For the last 30 years, my dogs have died at 8 – 8 1/2 years of age. Jegs turned 8 on Valentine’s Day. With my luck that means most likely I will lose him before Christmas. And if it IS cancer? I don’t know if I want to know. I don’t want to live with that hanging over my head again. He will be OK. No, I’m not cruel. I KNOW what this dog has gone through and I won’t put him through more. Especially like what Nick dealt with.

So Jegs is in a cast that I’m to take off tonight. This will be interesting. He looks at me with those beautiful brown eyes like he’s in pain and I can’t give him another pain pill till tonight. He snuggled up on my bed last night and was quiet all night. I’m sure yesterday was pretty rough on him. So I’ll love him up and snuggle with my boy. I was so happy to have him home. He’s important to me. Thank you, Kevin, for helping me go get him.

Then, I started reading this blog again and got to Aug 1st. And stopped dead in my tracks.

I did read it that far without losing it though. It’s like I’m becoming detached from what I went through last summer and the months before. After Aug 1? I don’t know yet.

I’m sure some of you are wondering why I read it over and over. It’s not hurting me. It helps me to read it. When I wrote all that out, I couldn’t breathe for crying. Then I could read it over again and I cried, but I could breathe. This time reading it? I could see myself living it over again but from above, looking down and I was OK. Not perfect but OK. I made it through.

I’ve also decided I want to go back to school. When, where, why, and how will be answered at a later date. I have to get information first.

Wish me luck.

Posted in Me

Seeing things for what they are….

remember in grade school the dandylions.jpg

….not what they’re supposed to be.

Who said Dandelions are weeds? They are actually quite useful. Pretty flowers that 3 year olds give to their mommy’s because they can REACH them and no one yells when they pick ’em.

HEY GRANDPA! WHAT’S FOR SUPPER??? Dandelion greens, ‘possum innards, and for desert? PEACH PIE!!

Wine…I hear those things make some pretty good spirits too!

Then there is this……………

dandy-lion

I wished on a lot of those………………none came true. But when we were kids?

We believed….

I’m seeing a lot of things for what they are. Some good, some bad.

Some make me laugh till I cry.

And some just make me cry.

But I ‘feel’ again. I was afraid that was lost.

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