It’s a day ………….

sometimes the strongest women

……a day where I’m just going to be quiet and think and reflect and try to figure out what the hell I want to do.  I wish I could put a Collin Raye video on here. The chorus is what always struck me as true for ANYONE.

********************
She said we’re much too different
We’re from two separate worlds
And he admitted she was partly right
But in his heart’s defense he told her
What they had in common
Was strong enough to bond them for life
He said look behind your own soul
And the person that you’ll see
Just might remind you of me

I laugh, I love, I hope, I try
I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry
And I know you do the same things, too
So we’re really not that different, me and you

She could hardly argue
With his pure and simple logic
But logic never could convince a heart
She had always dreamed of loving someone more exotic
And he just didn’t seem to fit the part
So she searched for greener pastures
But never could forget
What he whispered when she left

I laugh, I love, I hope, I try
I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry
And I know you do the same things, too
So we’re really not that different, me and you

Was it time or was it truth
Maybe both lead her back to his door
As her tears fell at his feet
She didn’t say “I love you”
What she said meant even more

I laugh, I love, I hope, I try
I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry
And I know you do the same things, too
So we’re really not that different, me and you
**************************************

As humans, we ARE all the same in the way that chorus speaks. This song is one of my all time favorites. I listen to it cranked at full volume and sing right along with it.

I had another flashback yesterday. Of Nick. It didn’t knock me to my knees this time even though it was a rough one. A painful one. But I made it through. Then last night I stood in the shower crying. Because I can. And none of the people in my house right now?……can tell that I have been crying. Sometimes I just need to do that. I need to spend time remembering him when those flashbacks hit. I don’t want people knowing when they do so I never say anything at the time. Why? Because I don’t want to be held, or touched, or distracted from what I am remembering. I have to finish the memory and my thoughts to continue processing. The more I do this, the less painful these things become. At least most of them will. The one from yesterday? I doubt it. There was no going back from that one. Or holding his face in my hands the moment he died. That one will never fade or be easy….OK never fade but one day I may smile at the honor I had to be holding him when he went to God.

I pretty much sat home all weekend. Sorting things behind my desk so I can start rearranging things there. I have SO many wires and cables behind my TV and computer….it’s a freakin’ nightmare. I want that cleaned up and off the floor so I can actually VACUUM back there. I got a LOT done! I impressed myself. I came across so many things of his. Business cards where he had written 390 heads or 302 block or something on the back, whatever the business card holder had that Nick wanted. Notes on serial and model # with NO idea which item it was for. More notes of phone #’s and odd things. Then I ran across one of his inhalers. I just held it in both hands like a lifeline. I just keep running across things I don’t expect to find. And I’ll be doing that for years to come.

Saturday night, my friend invited me up to his house to watch a movie. I’ve wanted to watch the Pirates of the Caribbean series for a while now. LOVE those movies. “yes! but where’s the RUM??!!”  I needed a giggle. So off I went and it was fun. There are 4 more movies. *smiles*

Sunday….was a boring, cold, icky kind of day. We got my friend’s stuff loaded in my car. Her new apartment is finally ready. My car will be unloaded late this afternoon. I hope she’s sorted everything enough to have room for my load of her stuff. I am really going to miss her being at my house. It’s been just a JOY to have her there. We get along so well.  We have been watching Once Upon a Time on Netflix. Don’t know how we are going to finish it with her 20+ miles away!! Oh well.

May 1st and it snows. I so want to get my screen porch ready to go. I have more to do in my laundry room first. Then it better be warm enough to start moving my plants back out there. I need to redo stuff in my living room. I have a LONG “Honey Do” list. And guess who the honey is that gets to do a lot of it.

Me.

Ugh.

Y’all have a NICE day.

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5 Responses to It’s a day ………….

  1. tom says:

    Collin Raye performed here in Jamestown last month. As for the cables behind the TV hehehehe.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ronda says:

    Like

  3. Dewy says:

    Great lyrics 😊 he’s gone physically but he’s still there in your memories. It’s not his bits that you need to keep to keep him around . You’ve already got his memories. You’ll have that forever .

    Liked by 1 person

    • Boo says:

      I have some of his ‘bits’ that I will never part with. Like the ’69 Mach 1, the ’57 F100 and the ’52 Lincoln Capri. *smiles* It’s all the LITTLE bits that can go.

      Liked by 1 person

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