Since Nick died…..

…..man, that phrase can still stop my heart sometimes. It’s getting easier with time, but it will always cause me pain.

walk-into-a-room-and-wonder-if-i-like-them

I found this sign walking thru my local Goodwill store. I should have bought it as I’m sure it’s long gone now. Because it is coming true more and more……

Since Nick died, I’m rather amazed that people I THOUGHT were my friends, HIS friends, have just faded away. For a while, I kept contacting them. Then I decided, you know what? I  am not going to chase people. If they want me in their life, then THEY have to put forth an effort. And my circle of friends has changed. I’m not thrilled with it but it was their choice. In one group, a woman who wasn’t even part of the original bunch of us, said some disparaging things. I clicked “Leave group.” Funny how the rest haven’t even noticed. That is SO sad as that group STARTED because of Nick. But whatever……

I have had bonfires at my house and invited all of these people to it. Rarely do they show up so I just am no longer worrying about it.

Since Nick died, I have met new people, reconnected with some former friends and my life is good. As good as it can be with the love of my life gone but I’m surviving. I’m getting stronger every day.

a strong woman

Strong enough to let a new man in my life. He knows no one I know. I know no one he knows. I like it this way. Talk about a fresh start huh? I am feeling the longer we talk before we actually meet?…..is a good thing.  He makes me laugh. He makes me smile. He makes me want. He makes me think. He makes me gasp and blush and I enjoy our ‘sparring’.  We both know what it is like to lose someone and not be able to do anything about it. So we understand time is not to be wasted. We are not high school kids. We know what we want so why dance around?

One day soon, you will meet him. I promise.

I stopped at the hospital last night to see my friend GG who had the stroke. Other than being pretty weak, he’s doing VERY well. His speech is a bit difficult to understand but only with certain words.  Thank God for that. He’s a sweet man and he’s got lots of years left to love that wonderful wife of his. His eyes lit up and a smile broke over his face. I knew he’d be OK then.

GG and Nick had a special bond. It was always nice to get together with them and watch those two connect on a level the rest of us could never understand. I miss watching that.

Today I leave you with this:

step-into-the-life-im-living

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3 Responses to Since Nick died…..

  1. Ronda says:

    Being the only one to invest in any kind of a relationship, I made the decision a few years ago, when dealing with my nieces and nephews (who have always been “my kids”) to not try so hard to be in their lives. Of the five of them, only one of them continues to be in contact with me (they are all adults). I’m okay with that. (mostly) It has been the same with “friends”, I got tired of being the only one making an effort. I have always heard when a spouse dies, you find out who your friends are, sorry Boo. Hugsssss xoxoxo ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Boo says:

      I’m done chasing. I get told by too many people who WILL spend time with me that they love me and have fun. I’m not going to worry about any of the others. It’s THEIR loss.

      Like

  2. Dewy says:

    Looks encouraging . It takes months of speech therapy before speech is okie again. Plus weeks before they can eat properly . Fingers crossed he’ll be right.

    Liked by 1 person

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