Like last night. I pulled out the Journal I had started writing notes in early June about things as I knew everything was coming to an ‘Ending’?
Nick was getting thinner and thinner. He stopped begging me to stay home with him every day. This is part of the process when they turn into themselves. Incredible highs like Falcon Nationals, meeting Jack Rousch, doing the Mustang Run, our trip to Canada.
And the incredible lows like when we found out after all this time, the tumors were not shrinking but growing and moving to other organs. June 16th the decision was made to stop Chemo. I watched him shrink as he told her; yet walk tall out of the doctors knowing he would feel better for a while. Chemo weighed heavy on him. He just did not have enough weight on to fight the cancer and the side effects of Chemo, too.
Nick did get stronger for a bit. Enough to make our vacation to Canada. Enough to do the Mustang Run and meet Jack, Nick and Larry going to Falcon Nationals. Larry describes the things they did with a smile on his face because Nick would grin. He knew Nick felt like crap but he kept doing things anyway.
He just kept trying.
I love you and I always will. Your spirit never wavered. Your will was strong when your body was not. I miss you.