What a CRAPTASTIC kind of day….

Boo

For some reason today, I’m just NOT in the best mood. This anniversary stuff popping in my head is making me struggle more than normal. That, and some serious talking with a dear friend last night has got my mind just swirling again, questioning my choices, trying to understand why I can get nothing done at home, and why I just want to get away for a while.

Nick at Grand Marias on the way up to

I have a 4 day weekend coming up. I should just leave. But, once again, I’ve made promises. Of course, I could take off Friday after work and I don’t HAVE to be anywhere till church Sunday morning. And I don’t even HAVE to be there for that. I don’t HAVE to be anywhere till Wednesday morning. I scoop up Grandson #6 on Sunday, and take off. To parts unknown.

I wish people would promise ME like I do them. I help my family. I can’t get them to come to my house. I have some serious house issues needing resolution. I need this shit DONE.

One year ago today I was in Canada with Nick. He slept most of the time we were there but we still managed to do things. Like this photo, paddle boating around the lake. It was awesome. My legs got a real work out! Nick didn’t have the strength to help much. I didn’t care.  paddle boating

I was just happy to be where he was, making the last of his time fun and worthwhile.

Nick at Cross Falls.jpg

How little did we know how short that time would be.

One month after this photo was taken, I was at the funeral, trying to make sense of it all.

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5 thoughts on “What a CRAPTASTIC kind of day….”

  1. Today I read a post by a blogger whose friend advised her to “act like she wanted to behave.” I thought that was good advice. Sometimes it’s important to put ourselves first before others.

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    1. I should just do that. But 50 years of being ‘trained’? to behave and proper? Hard to get around that. *Unless I’m not where someone knows me* smiles*

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  2. Just pack up and go. Sometimes you’ve just got to be naughty and say no . I used to say yes to people now I don’t. And you know what? It didn’t matter to them if I’d said yes or no. It was just convenient I said yes.
    I kind of given up being good and proper. Life is too short.

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