…was a day from Hell. I have a photo of Nick from that day no one will ever see. I look at it from time to time. Looking so small in that bed. In SUCH pain even with the morphine drip…just wanting to crawl in with him and hold him till it was all better. Unable to because of the 7 tubes and lines hooked up to him to keep him sedated and monitored.
Oxygen tube on his face. Oxygen sensor on his finger. Stomach drain tube. Blood pressure cuff, pic line in his arm, catheter, some kind of drain from his abdomen. Flashing lights, alarms, whistles, nurses and orderlies coming and going, lions and tigers and bears!
….It was beyond crazy.
Overwhelming doesn’t quite cover it. The nurses and orderlies were also beyond.
Wonderful, caring, compassionate…….
It was the start of a long, difficult, and terrifying journey. One I hope to NEVER do again. But if I end up with a man in my life, it’s a possibility. It’s also possible it could be me.
Amazingly…..I’m actually doing pretty good today….considering all of the above.
But then I have another date with Neil. *smiles*
I’m really enjoying the time I spend with this man. No pressure. No rushing. No fears. Just fun. It’s pretty nice. Neil is just happy to spend time with me. When I speak of other men friends, he doesn’t get all bent out of shape. No ‘who is THAT?’ or ‘it’s a slap in the face’ reaction. I’m not exclusive with anyone…….yet. And who knows if I will ever be. And my men friends? … are just that. Friends.
Remember a few months back when I had a lunch date on a Friday afternoon with RS? I was all excited about this yet on the drive home I was crying and apologizing to Nick?
I don’t have that feeling with Neil.
And I like that.
Now……we just have to get rid of that Corvette……..*snortz*