Last night was rough…..

I’ve spent the last few months picking away at things getting them sorted and ready to either go to the trash, Operation Homefront to include in care packages, given away, donated…..

I sat at my desk last evening and started in on THAT mess.

…and pulled out the bag with all of Nick’s medical papers. I started going thru everything to make sure there was nothing I really needed to keep. And ended up with a 3 ring binder, clear page inserts and 7 notepads.

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And tears rolling as I once again lived all that he went through. Things I had forgotten, care at home instructions, all the folders he got every time he was in the hospital (7 that I found) filled with pamphlets on how to……..

How did I ever get through all that…..?

Certainly not unscathed.

I simply do not know how Nick made it through what he did for as long as he did. He had SUCH strength.

We had a talk last night. I told him it was time for me to move on.

No lightening bolts came from the sky so I guess he’s good with that.

Wish me luck with Ted, my love.

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Today

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I don’t have a lot today.

I do know, however, I am looking forward to seeing T on Friday night providing he isn’t working till late. He starts a new job Wednesday and he’ll find out his hours then. Hopefully.

I have a wake/funeral on Friday later afternoon. My friend Rhonda, with whom I was very close to a few years back, passed away at age 63. We had lost touch, reconnected on Facebook but not very well as I seldom heard from her.¬† I had heard she contracted lung cancer but she wouldn’t talk about it.

She was a regular Dr. Doolittle. A fascinating woman – I am NOT kidding. Her animals LOVED her. And she loved them. It always was a JOY to watch her interact with them. She had a collection of different chickens, cattle, horses, pigs…the list goes on. I LOVED going to her house. So relaxing and peace-filled.

I feel a hole in my life just got bigger. She will be missed.

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Saturday…

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I won’t be SKIING but Nick and I always wanted to go to the Ski Jump the first weekend in Feb. Skiers from around the world compete here that weekend. I am hoping it’s as much fun to watch as it looks to do. *snickers*

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So I had a date Friday night. We spent 3 hours at the restaurant enjoying some really good prime rib and such. Talking and thinking and laughing.

I like this guy.

Today we did some serious talking. And while it’s hard to do via text, we’ll expand on it when we are together again. Today got the ball rolling on things we need to discuss and got them out in the open.

Keep your fingers crossed the next date goes as well.

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One of my next projects…

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I want to put a shower up outside my back door. I’m sure it won’t be THIS elaborate, but I have a picture in my head. And I can already feel the water on my skin…..My plumber thinks I’m nuts , but he is on board with the idea.

If you haven’t discovered the ?? of being Au Natural out of doors yet? Please do so. And as soon as weather permits. You are NEVER too old. The joy of rainwater or warm breezes on your skin…I feel like it releases something inside me. I have my screen porch where I can sit after dark and no one can see me. I leave my shower without drying off, walk out to my screen porch and just enjoy the warm summer breeze drying me off. I should warn my kids then just sleep out there one evening.

I started talking with a guy online on Wednesday. I met him for wine Thursday (last night). We are going for supper tonight.

We are also discussing the pros and cons of neckties. *falls down giggling*

I’ll keep you posted.

He makes me smile.
He makes me laugh.
He makes me snort coffee all over my computer screen.

He may have potential!!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahhahaaa!!!

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Does it help you?

music helps me escape

I find that when I don’t get to listen to my music ? I get ……..something. I hate to say anxious because I don’t have anxiety attacks. I don’t feel …….. complete. I LOVE to sing at the top of my lungs driving down the road. I have ever since Nick died just over 18 months ago. It helped me through the day. And I hear I have gotten quite good. *snortz*

I have so many CD’s I listen to. And it’s time to rotate them again. Eagles “Hell Freezes Over” will stay in but I will be adding Ronnie Milsap and Stevie Wonder tonight.I LOVE me some Ronnie.

Pentatonix Christmas album…ya. I need to take that out but I LOVE their sound!

Meeting the new guy for a glass of wine tonight. I hope I don’t chicken out. Again.

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My horrorscope today:

You know that something quite unusual is going on, but you cannot name it nor can you do anything to stop it — just yet.

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Hmmmmmmmmmm I have spent 3 hours today talking with a man online and having a BLAST. He is so funny!

We have a date Friday night. Wish me luck!!

 

 

 

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It’s a bootiful day…..

…………..OK. Sometimes I lie about the weather. It’s chilly out there. Mid 20*’s for the high. (that is about 3*C for those using that scale) We got a crap-ton of RAIN yesterday before it turned to snow. So we have frozen slush under this white crap. Makes it hard to walk in high heels. (snortz)

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We got only about an inch of snow. But if all the rain we had would have been white crap? 12-18″ of it. It just POURED yesterday.

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And it’s just warm enough for a lot of that to melt¬† and it will refreeze in new and fun patterns to walk on. *sigh*

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I like Olaf’s idea better. I wanna build a snowman. Or those foot tall snow humps in the front lawn, then you push glow sticks in for eyes and watch people drive in the ditch. Ya. That’ll be fun…..WHAT??? Sheesh…lemme have some fun!

Well, my slightly quirky, really bat shit crazy friend has found a diamond in the rough. I’m happy for her. She’s had a rough life till she discovered sex. *smiles* Me? I had a boring life till I discovered making love. (Thank you Nick! And I love you always.)

I know one day my new love will walk into my life and turn it upside down. I will hear his song.

we-love-someone-because-they-sing-a-song-only-we-can-hear
I think I’m ready for that.

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