I paused for 2 months….

Practice the pause.jpg
  I do not even know how to BEGIN to write this. I was hoping to be able to
celebrate 5 months of sobriety with you. Instead there is NO time line to celebrate.
You didn’t care enough to want it. And you still don’t.

   I have been disappointed and angry for 2 months. When I found out you were
drunk at Christmas…did you think I wouldn’t? I know you don’t care but I
wanted you to know how I sat there in tears after learning that.

   I’m just sorry you don’t care.

   But I am done being disappointed and angry.

   You and I talked and talked about this. So why you are continuing to try to contact
me….I don’t understand. Other than the fact that you don’t care. I told you that if
you made the decision to NOT stick with AA and sobriety, that you would lose me.
All contact with me. Nothing. There would be NOTHING. Apparently you don’t care
enough about me OR YOURSELF to take that seriously.

   I simply CANNOT watch you kill yourself. And that IS what you are doing. You are
slowly poisoning yourself. Apparently you do not want to be a father to your daughters
anymore and you do not want to be Grandpa to any of the children Ja.. or Je..
may have – one of the most JOYOUS things that can happen in a parent’s life. But you
are too selfish to see this.

   This letter is to let you know I have removed you from my phone, my computer, my
address book and my life.

   I am done. I love you. But I am done.

   You have ONE chance to be back in my life. Your sponsor comes to see me with you
with PROOF you have been sober one full year. I will need solid proof that they ARE your sponsor.

   This is the only way. Lie to me? And it is over for good. Period. You know I will.

   Until then, do not call me. Do not come to see me. Do not write or text me. I will delete, not answer, or throw away anything from you that comes my way.

suffer the consequences of their actions.jpg

It is in the mail. I have no idea what will happen. I just know I can’t anymore.

I will pray for him to find his way.

Posted in Me

4 thoughts on “I paused for 2 months….

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