So last night wasn’t good…..

Ken’s leaving me hit. So soon after Scott. Really bad timing Ken. I was so content and on an even keel for a change. Smiling and laughing and enjoying life again. I had to cancel my plans last night to get home because my stuff was on the front step and it was raining.


Last night, I was chatting with Michael. He was pissing me off like he usually does. The conversation started earlier in the day when he was telling me some things he was doing that he KNEW would frustrate me. So I said OK and went quiet on him. “?” he typed. I stayed silent. All day and long into the night.

Finally he said to me “Okay, something happened”

I asked him a few pointed questions about the things he was saying that were frustrating me.

I told him I wasn’t with him so he needed to tell me what happened.

‘No, you tell me. Something happened with you or at least I get that feeling.

It was a long conversation about he ‘knew’ something happened with me because he got this feeling.  Tell me again how the two of us are not ‘in tune’ with each other. One of two men besides Nick that ever made me feel ‘alive’.  Really alive and happy. One I found after Nick passed and I’m sorry he is no longer in my life either.

His choice.

Michael (he hates that BTW, prefers Mike but I LOVE how Michael rolls off my tongue.) and I have had this connection since I met him over 20 years ago. Like I knew him ‘before’. We have always been able to talk and laugh. Fun conversations. Interesting make ya think kinds of talks.

But nothing ever gets resolved between us other than he won’t be with me because ‘You are not that kind of woman. You want more than I can give.’ (and knowing him it is because he doesn’t want to hurt me by things not working out with us. so better to not then.)

Ya, I get that. I also know I need to explode. TMI?  Tough. Whatever.


Moving on.

Scott’s death hasn’t hit yet. Like I said yesterday, it won’t until a few weeks have passed. Or we do a big family gathering. Which I may or may not go to. Sister (the one in the lt blue top) has done some things over the last few years that have made me not want to spend ANY time with her. City Bitch Syndrome. I won’t deal with it. She may have lost her sister along with her brother.

Her choice.

Another whatever.

I have 94 followers now. I think that is cool.

I do, however, wish y’all would say hello! or like my post if it moves you. Have an excellent weekend!

Posted in Me

7 thoughts on “So last night wasn’t good…..

  1. Putting my 2 cents worth in, make of it what you will.
    “… it is because he doesn’t want to hurt me by things not working out with us. so better to not then.” I’m sorry, but that really sounds like a cop out.
    “‘You are not that kind of woman.” What kind of woman? The kind who wants a man to step up and take a chance? Yes. Yes I am… and you should be too. Life is too short, way too short, not to grab for the brass ring if you can. If he’s unwilling to even try, then he’s not worth your time.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He can’t give me what I want. He’s not wanting a relationship. I do. So I just chat with him. He keeps the juices flowing. *snorts* and he’s been a friend for a long time.


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