Well crap….

My sexy pirate thing wouldn’t work and I didn’t have time to change to the sexy witch so I’m doing Roy Orbison’s Black and White Night. *sigh* Oh, and my tooth blackout was dried up. DAMN!

Nope. No photos. Sorry.

I’m SO ready to go home tonight and yet I have a meeting at 4:45pm. Then I can go home. And I’m going to work outside for a while. Try and get some of my lawn ready for winter. It is actually a beautiful day out there and I should have driven the Mustang in. But the battery is as dead as a doornail so……………..

I called WW this morning to cancel my subscription and they talked me into one more month free. I am following as closely as possible to their program and I’m up 3 pounds in 3 weeks. It didn’t work last time I tried using it either. I followed their program TO the letter and I’d go up .2lbs. I’d cheat and go down 2lbs. WTF….

So I’m done paying $40+/months for this shit. I’ve only lost 11lbs. Pretty damn expensive in my book. So at the end of the free month, I’ll cancel. I’m done. I’m just going to be fat. Whatever.

Depresses the shit out of me but I’ll be OK eventually. I have a man who wants me just as I am.  Works for me.

Sexy Witch or Pirate Bitch?

Sexy Witch?

Pirate Bitch

I am trying to figure out which one I want to do. I’d have less ‘exposed’ if I went with Pirate Bitch and I’d probably be more comfortable. But being that sexy witch? Is just too much fun!!

Last year I went as the sexy witch. Mike and I went to the local supper club and sat at the bar for a bit. The lady across from me loooooooooooooooked at me…………then asked how many people I had put a spell on………..I just put my finger to my lips and quietly said “shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”…………….her eyes got wide…..She’d obviously been there a while……………*hic*

I forgot to tell y’all!!! I bought me a new bathrobe!! The one I have? My oldest grandson (18 1/2 yrs old) picked it out for me when he was like 2. I got it from Amazon.com. I wanted one that would cover my ankles. It touches the floor. (my daughter commented on how the floors would get swept)

And this thing has a HOOD!! (say it with me: oooooooooooooooooooo !!)

Now I look like Obi-Wan Kenobi. *chuckles* If you want a photo, I’ll get one. It’s in a much  deeper burgundy than this photo shows and I am LOVING it! I will stay WARM this winter!!

Last week is over. I’m doing much better. I get to see my new prospect tomorrow. (He’s been working an hour away for the last 3 work days..ugh) I’m a happy camper today.

Happy Halloween tomorrow everyone!!

No kidding! A day or so late….

                           Saturday….I didn’t even get to sleep in. I did a craft show in Hokah. Up and on the road by 7:15am to be there by 8am. (They were told I wouldn’t be there till 8:30am.) This is one I was trying to organize. It didn’t work out well. So I probably won’t do it next year. I could have made a lot more money and gotten rid of many more Pchef items in Whitehall.

And someone wouldn’t have been able to be nasty to me. Nice employees there. pfftt. Whatever.

Ya, I blinked. lol…. I was to go to a football game at 7pm Saturday night. I decided I was too tired and didn’t feel good enough to go. I just went home. And watched more of Deep Space 9. I like that show. Avery Brooks has the most expressive face and beautiful smile……………

Sunday….I never even got out of my pj’s. I planted myself on the sofa and watched ALL of the second season of Making a Murderer. That is such a twisted and unbelievable case. Season 1 made me SURE he had done it. Season 2? Now I almost think he is innocent.

Don’t give me no shit. Go watch it for yourself and see what the prosecution did. And it’s provable.

Monday.

I think they should ban Mondays.

I have a couple stores to stop by tonight. Groceries and the Dollar store. All my scrubbing brushes are missing at home. Daughter LOVES to throw things away.

I may start painting in my hallway. I do not like the green, so I’m covering it with Tuscan Tan from the laundry room. I LOVE that color. I love the Sage that is in the hallway…as long as it stays in the living room. LOL….

See y’all tomorrow!!

 

We need each other….

Amazing what a difference 2 years makes.

Welcome to my little corner of the institution...

I keep finding that out every day. There are people I simply NEED to speak with, see or have interaction with every day to make me ‘whole’. Luckily one of them lives with me.

Earn has turned out to be THE best thing that could have happened to me. She is the sweetest young lady I’ve met in a long time. She is so easy to get along with, funny, conversations can be a HOOT….I’m so glad I said yes to another student instead of spending this first year alone.

The store room is getting cleaned out now. What a flippin’ mess. So much stuff is getting thrown away. I’m done storing things that are never used.

Last night was a playoff game. THEY WON!! So on to Grand Meadow Saturday. Fingers crossed. My friend K took this photo close to halftime. I kind of like it! Give me ‘the…

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…and now that week is almost over…

I feel pretty good today considering. And I’ll be fine………………..until the week of March 20th. My 3rd anniversary of marrying my soulmate. And my third one alone….Funny how that doesn’t hit me like this week does.

Until one day it does. We’ll see……..

 

This has been a rough week…….

………for some reason. I’ve been through it 3 times now and for some reason this time was harder. It’s been 4 years (Oct 20th) since this journey through cancer and it’s aftermath started. I probably will always struggle with it.

Until one day………

When my Bear dog died, we both struggled every year. We had him put down Sept 10, 2005. I held him in my arms as he passed away. I sat with him for a long while after he died, just trying to breathe.

Irony? He had pancreatic cancer.

This year? I actually didn’t go up to his grave for the first time since 2005. I thought about it just didn’t make the “OMG We have to GO!” plans like every other year.

He is buried just to the left in this photo. In fact, you can see the handle of the spade my son used to dig the hole a bit deeper than Nick had it. We have rocks and flowers planted on his grave. I will probably go up there sometime soon. Just to talk to him about ‘Dad’.

Bear’s dad and Jeg’s grandfather were the same Rottweiler, Joker. Three of the best dogs ever. It took us 5 years to finally decide on Jegs. And we only took him because he was one of the last of Joker’s line.

I still mourn this one. I still miss this one so much. Jegs will be worse because I won’t have Nick to help me grieve with over him.

I’ll be glad when this week is over.

I cracked up………

I think I am ready for a good party.

I think I am ready for a nap tomorrow.

Hope you all are having a good day.

 

I have a blog in my mind but it’s not a cheery one so I’ll wait for a rainy, dreary day to post it……

Later taters…………

Don’t be………………

After Nick died, there were SO many more people I lost….till I thought I would just end it myself. It’s hard to live without the people you love…..But I made it through. I am here yet today, even after losing so many more that my heart hurts.

Then I go back to my parents place and do a community supper. I see all the people I grew up with and my heart renews…..

Amazing what ‘home’ can do for you……….

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I have done this in the shower more times than I can count in the last 2 years.

I love my family. I love my friends. I hope, by my actions and words, they know this.

Some people learn this too late.

I am one of them.

Don’t be part of this group……

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Today, 3 years ago….

Things can really change in just a short years time. I no longer date Neil. I getting more and more comfortable being alone. And yet on occasion, I’d like a warm body to snuggle up to………doesn’t everyone?

Welcome to my little corner of the institution...

…was a day from Hell. I have a photo of Nick from that day no one will ever see. I look at it from time to time. Looking so small in that bed. In SUCH pain even with the morphine drip…just wanting to crawl in with him and hold him till it was all better. Unable to because of the 7 tubes and lines hooked up to him to keep him sedated and monitored.

Oxygen tube on his face. Oxygen sensor on his finger. Stomach drain tube. Blood pressure cuff, pic line in his arm, catheter, some kind of drain from his abdomen. Flashing lights, alarms, whistles, nurses and orderlies coming and going, lions and tigers and bears!

….It was beyond crazy.

Overwhelming doesn’t quite cover it. The nurses and orderlies were also beyond.

Wonderful, caring, compassionate…….

It was the start of a long, difficult, and terrifying journey. One I…

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Here’s a hard earned lesson….

Don’t order anything while you are grieving. You don’t notice everything.

I just discovered $39.90 charged to a credit card of mine every 45 days without my knowledge.

My health coach.

Who the FUCK is THAT??? They claim I bought something 30-45 days before March 9, 2016.

Remember what 2016 was like for me? and 2015? And the last half of 2014?

Ya.

Apparently I bought something and hidden in the terms and conditions somewhere is a little box you have to uncheck that says you do not want this monthly health coach thing. And if you don’t uncheck said box at checkout, they will charge you to have this online help.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

March of 2016. Ya. I’m gonna remember that.

“Our refund policy is 90 days.”

I don’t think so Tim.

Courtney was pretty good about going back just a tad over 6 months and getting me almost $200 back.

This, my fellow Americans, is part of the joy of Paperless Statements. Every freakin’ time I try to log in, my Credit Cards “We don’t recognize the machine you are logging in from.”

Throws hands in the air.

I’m going to have to settle for the $200 and a hard earned lesson. Expensive lesson.

READ EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!