Taking a half day today….

I have a major grinding/growling noise in my left rear wheel of my Edge. I’m thinking it’s a bearing. Spendy little buggers they are. I still love my car…..

Date Saturday night. I warned the hostess I was bringing someone but she was not allowed to tell anyone. She said she was ramping up the interrogation questions. I told her she best beware because Jeff gives better than he gets!

This could be interesting. 6-8″ of white crap is predicted too. He wants to take his Hummer so if we drive off the road, we can just keep driving…hmmmmmmmmmmmm

I may drive separately. LOL!

G’day….

Hope this finds everyone surviving in however manner they can. We got a bit of pretty slickery snow last night. I drove home in it. Ugh.

I’m cooking tonight for FWG Jeff.  One of my more favorite Pampered Chef recipes. I hope they like it. They LOVED the Fiesta Chicken Enchiladas I made a couple weeks ago. If you want, let me know. I’ll post that recipe too.

Spicy Sausage Penne

Ingredients:
8 ounces uncooked penne pasta
1 pound hot Italian turkey sausage (about 4 links) ( I use the beef links from Aldi’s LOTS Of flavor)
1 each: medium green, red and yellow bell pepper, cut into 1/4-inch strips (I am allergic to yellow, orange and red peppers so sub’ing 2 green peppers is fine too.)
1/2 cup coarsely chopped onion (I cut them in strips like the green peppers)
2 garlic cloves, pressed
1 can (14 1/2 ounces) diced tomatoes in sauce, undrained
1 can (8 ounces) tomato sauce
2 teaspoons Pampered Chef Italian Seasoning Mix
1/4 cup (1 ounce) grated fresh Parmesan cheese

Directions: Cook pasta according to package directions in 4-qt.sauce pan; drain and keep warm.

Meanwhile, cook sausage in 12″ Skillet over medium-high heat 14-16 minutes or until sausage is lightly browned and no longer pink, turning occasionally. Remove sausages from skillet; cut diagonally into 1-inch pieces and set aside.

Cut bell peppers and onions into 1/4″ strips. In same skillet, cook bell peppers, onion and garlic pressed with Garlic Press over medium heat 6-8 minutes or until peppers are crisp-tender, stirring occasionally. Add sausage, tomatoes, tomato sauce and seasoning mix. Cook and stir 1-2 minutes or until heated through.

Place pasta in large bowl; pour sauce mixture over pasta, tossing to coat. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese. Serve immediately.

Yield: 6 servings
Nutrients per serving: Calories 330 (27% from fat), Total Fat 10 g, Saturated Fat 3.5 g, Cholesterol 50 mg, Carbohydrate 40 g, Protein 21 g, Sodium 980 mg, Fiber 3 g Diabetic exchanges per serving: 2 starch, 2 medium-fat meat, 1 vegetable (2 carb)

This is a great recipe and so easy to double (or more) it. It feeds a lot of people and please!! please!! use ONLY block Parmesan cheese and grate it over the dish while still hot. You will get NOTHING from grated parm in a cardboard container. All the flavor has already seeped out of it by the time you buy it. Block Parm is beyond flavorful and adds so much to this dish. Serve with crusty Italian bread, Yum.

If you do try this recipe, please let me know. I love to share the ones I enjoy.

I think this will be what my Christmas

I was in such pain when I wrote this 2 years ago. I don’t think it will be so bad this year. I hope it won’t anyway. I may not be sober just because this time instead of being unable to deal with things….

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…..will look like this year.

I don’t have a lot of choice in sticking around for Christmas….but no one says I have to stay sober. Or even go anywhere. Oblivion seems a pretty good looking option right now. After the ‘rents and the g’kids go home or I get home.

I will go though. It’s Earn’s first Christmas here. I am going to do my damnedest to make it good. She deserves it even though this will be incredibly painful for me to sit through. I know someone is going to say “Papa isn’t here.” Last weekend, Lennox asked if we could wake up Papa now.

Thanksgiving was hard. Even though I was in a place with no Nick Thanksgiving memories, there were still memories of us there. After 23 years, there are few places where I don’t see him…

20 weeks on Friday. Months already. I think of sitting…

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I WANNA GO! WHO’S WITH ME????

Most remote Motel

Would you go here? I think it would be fun for 7 friends or 7 couples who are all friends to go to this place. The Northern Lights, Polar Bears and other misc wildlife……..I think it would be an ADVENTURE!

And it’s FREE!! You just have to fly in 2 planes, a helicopter and ride an ATV to get there. Oh and I think you have to be able to pronounce the name of the town. LOL!! Only 450 people live in Ittoqqortoormiit, Greenland. The nearest city? Is 497 miles away. Bring booze!!

And life is an adventure right??

RIGHT??

OH YES!

I have a date Saturday night.  I told him he had to behave.

Wonder how that’s gonna work out for me….

A whopping 14* here this morning. It was chucking filly.

Winter 2018 is 2015 revisited. Yay.

Our computers are back up and running…..very slowly but they are working again. I have had customers calling looking for invoices for the two days we were down. Just got off the phone with a guy. “Ya, I know your computers were down for a couple days…You know, if my ex wife worked on computers, they’d never go down.”

And on a different note……………..Have a GREAT evening!!

 

 

 

 

I lost it last night…..

….and this photo is the reason why.

I have a friend with a business called ‘Anywhere Windows’. She will take your photo. Blow it up. Put it in a window frame and back light it. My friend Janet’s business

This photo was taken on June 30, 2016 at 4:20am. Through a screen on the kitchen window of the cabin Nick and I were in while staying at Harris Bay Resort in Ignace, Canada. I am always amazed when I look at it and see just how clear it was even tho I just snapped this on my phone through a screen.

Janet blew it up to a 3′ x 2′ window size. She put a small Christmas light bulb right behind that middle tree as the sun was just glowing beyond the horizon. She also put lights on the docks just like they are in the photo. I laid there and stared at this last night. [I’ll get a photo of it lit up for y’all…..]

And lost it. I could see him sleeping in the next room. I could feel the raindrops from the storm the afternoon before, the feel of the lake on my toes, The pain in his eyes and the thinness of him in my arms.

But I have found when I start a new adventure, this happens. And Jeff is a new adventure.

Yup……I spot dust now and then and pray it is just from the road.

But you knew that…………….

So I have a date on Saturday night. I asked him. Jeff asked me when we did Bloodys during the Packer game. It must be my turn then…….? I have a Christmas party with friends. We’ll see how it goes as to how long we stay. One lady there I do not like spending time around and I usually ignore her. She owes me a HUGE apology and I don’t know even if I get it, that I will start talking to her again. She’s a two face and I don’t have time for people like that.

Anyway…Jeff is the FWG. Remember that? “I’m 53, 6’2″ and available” ….? I think he’s a funny guy. But we’ll see how things work out. He, too, drives a Chevy so we are probably doomed.

I will be cooking for him and his daughter again this week. Possibly Thursday evening. I think I am taking a half day on Friday to get the growl in the left rear wheel checked out.

He won’t be able to help this time. LOL……. Hopefully it’s nothing serious like I just need new brake pads.

Now that the memories are out of the way for today…..

…..I am sitting here bored out of my SKULL…..

Our computer server was hacked. Actually it was the business that supplied and maintains our server. ALL of their customers were hacked and are down. We had NO business program on Wednesday and we still do not have computers today. I have NOTHING to do.

~yawn~

Ice Cream….Thanks River….I have not thought about ice cream for a month. Now I’ll have to find some. Ugh. I will resist. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE! Moose Tracks here I come!

I finished Deep Space 9 yesterday and started Star Trek: Voyager. I’m 3 episodes into it and I am not loving it like DS9 or THG. I actually had a tear in my eye at the end of DS9.

My birthday is Saturday. I am printing off all the birthday coupons I get in my email and putting them on my counter. Daughter put them in on my bed in a bag. Guess she didn’t get the HINT huh??

Joining the Y. I want to swim. I need to do that instead of WW. I can join the Y and their monthly fee is the same as WW. Only I can go 7 days a week instead of 1. Sounds like a better deal to me.

Last night, Lennox came down to watch The Christmas Chronicles with me. “I don’t wanna watch anything with blood, violence, or French in it.” I died laughing.

Funny kid.

 

 

Welcome back to your desk. Good luck pretending to work.

Wow I was MAD when I wrote this a year ago! I’m doing much better now. I am developing a relationship with someone that is fun to be around. He makes me very nervous…..is this a GOOD thing? LOL!!

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46,30,65,26,46,57,61,37 <—the ages in the obituary notices I rec’d in my email this morning. Jaysus…..Getting YOUNGER all the time….This is not good.

So the depression got worse over the holiday. Family reasons. I have to believe they just don’t get it. And please don’t tell me you do just because you lost an uncle, or a father in law, or a cousin. It is not the same as losing the one you planned to grow old with, the one who slept by your side, made you feel safe and loved, held you when the thunder cracked far too loud. If you still have your S/O? Then NO, you do not know what it is like. I am alone now. You still have your S/O.

You can imagine. You can hurt because you lost your relative or friend. But until you lose the one you love/sleep with/make love to….you simply can’t.

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He’s giving up….

3 years ago. wow. 132.5 pounds he was. He was 105 when he died. Or less. God I miss him.

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“How can anyone feel this bad and still be alive??”

I don’t know, luv……..I just don’t know.

He’s down to 132.5lbs this morning. He went to bed at 5pm last night, got up at 10:30pm for a bit, and then back to bed till 6:30am.

He didn’t eat.

And I can’t get him to understand that he won’t be able to function if he doesn’t give his body fuel to run on.

No results from the ultra sound yet either. I spose with the holidays, it’s more important to get to the relatives for the food than to give someone desperately waiting an answer on their LIFE.

Yes, Anger has set in.

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I have no choice …

Another one I miss like my right arm.

RIP Auntie. You were well loved.

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As I sit here in Aunties home, remembering ,  reminiscing ,  looking at her wonderful photos, books, and travel memories,  I realize …she DID really have the cliché  “wonderful life “.

My auntie was, at times, larger than life. She’s been everywhere, man; she’s done everything, man…..as the song somewhat goes. . .  The stories of her travels are heavy on my mind, but the details are getting hazy.  To Africa and Mt. Killamanjaro; Ecuador;  England and Jerusalem with her mom (my G’ma Lola) and her Aunt Pete; California; Massachusetts; to the home place where my parents, her brother (my Dad) and his wife (my Mom) still live; the cabin on the bay…like I said, the details are fading. But the memory of her travels are always there.

So now, as I stand in Tammy’s kitchen, looking across the Breezeway…..I see an empty couch, instead of the vibrant woman that…

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There are days….

Two years. Memories still can overwhelm me. Tasks I must do overwhelm me. I have a truck and two tractors I need to get in my shed. It’s overwhelming me. Parts to sell….Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, Boo. You’ll make it through this again.

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….when I feel I can’t do this anymore.

When I miss Nick, or Auntie , or even  Julie and G’ma Lola to the point I am paralyzed, unable to continue a normal day when memories visit . . .

…..when memories overwhelm me….it’s like a movie in fast forward.  Like a movie I want to pause for rewrites.

I know one day,  things won’t be so raw and painful . ..and that even though the pain of loss will still be there….there will be an acceptance that will make me smile in memory of those I have lost.

Thank you, Laurie …..for giving me hope. I love you.

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