This week….

houseplant with complicated emotions.jpg

…has been a little rough. I put Vince Gill’s CD back in my car and when this song came on, for some reason I lost it.

You say your heart has been broken
And it’s taking forever to mend
And it’s left you even more certain
That you’ll never love again
A long time ago someone told me
It’s not love that causes the pain
Whenever a heart has been shattered
It’s the losing of love that’s to blame

Love never broke anyone’s heart
It never left anyone scarred
It’s not really love if it tears you apart
Love never broke anyone’s heart

I know your feelings are tender
And you’re so afraid they won’t heal
I’ll prove to you love doesn’t hurt you
And I’ll show you how true love should feel

Well, I think love can break a heart. When it has been taken away. Ripped away because of death. I have been feeling beyond helpless and hopeless because there was NOTHING I could do to stop losing Nick. Why is this coming up again? Because I feel the same for being stuck for another 4 or more months waiting for my sternum to heal again. Frustration, annoyance, anger, and helplessness. Not at my G’son. Never. Ever. I love him too much. Just all these emotions over my original stupidity of hurrying up something that maybe I shouldn’t have.

I’ve been trying to start over lately. Dating. Ugh. Only one man has NOT come up short on my ‘tape measure’ and he doesn’t want to date. I feel lost and meeting new men is daunting to say the least. But I am too young to give up having another relationship. I LIKE men. I LIKE spending time in adult conversation with someone. I like doing fun things with someone who actually wants to spend time with me. And I have discovered…..TALL men are FUN!

I have a date at 3pm Saturday in a town 25 miles north of me (we are kind of meeting in the middle) with a man that is rather funny, 5 years younger,6’1″, and his hair longer than mine, but he’s a farmer and I am sure if we hit it off and things work out, he’s not going to want to move further south and I plan on moving back to Minnesota.  So I guess it is a good thing that I do not see myself living with someone again.

piping hot cuppa coffee to warm up the evil in me
I am really liking ‘being on my own’…..and frankly, I cannot wait for daughter en fam to find their own place to buy. I have so many ideas I want to do. Including moving my bedroom upstairs and turning my downstairs bedroom into an office….Which, according to my daughter, I shouldn’t do because “You know Mom…soon stairs will be hard for you….”

Wait…………………………WHAT?

Advertisements

About Boo

Grandmother to 10....no 11....or is it 12 now? Getting back into life after losing the love of my life to cancer. Read my struggles with daily life........or don't. But I hope it helps ONE person get thru the same thing I went thru......
This entry was posted in Me. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to This week….

  1. LOL…at what the daughter said…I set my oldest straight about ole Mom. He said something about being senile…I said who…you?! cause if you’re implying…I’m going off on your a$$!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jim says:

    ya moving to Duluth?

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s