This week….

houseplant with complicated emotions.jpg

…has been a little rough. I put Vince Gill’s CD back in my car and when this song came on, for some reason I lost it.

You say your heart has been broken
And it’s taking forever to mend
And it’s left you even more certain
That you’ll never love again
A long time ago someone told me
It’s not love that causes the pain
Whenever a heart has been shattered
It’s the losing of love that’s to blame

Love never broke anyone’s heart
It never left anyone scarred
It’s not really love if it tears you apart
Love never broke anyone’s heart

I know your feelings are tender
And you’re so afraid they won’t heal
I’ll prove to you love doesn’t hurt you
And I’ll show you how true love should feel

Well, I think love can break a heart. When it has been taken away. Ripped away because of death. I have been feeling beyond helpless and hopeless because there was NOTHING I could do to stop losing Nick. Why is this coming up again? Because I feel the same for being stuck for another 4 or more months waiting for my sternum to heal again. Frustration, annoyance, anger, and helplessness. Not at my G’son. Never. Ever. I love him too much. Just all these emotions over my original stupidity of hurrying up something that maybe I shouldn’t have.

I’ve been trying to start over lately. Dating. Ugh. Only one man has NOT come up short on my ‘tape measure’ and he doesn’t want to date. I feel lost and meeting new men is daunting to say the least. But I am too young to give up having another relationship. I LIKE men. I LIKE spending time in adult conversation with someone. I like doing fun things with someone who actually wants to spend time with me. And I have discovered…..TALL men are FUN!

I have a date at 3pm Saturday in a town 25 miles north of me (we are kind of meeting in the middle) with a man that is rather funny, 5 years younger,6’1″, and his hair longer than mine, but he’s a farmer and I am sure if we hit it off and things work out, he’s not going to want to move further south and I plan on moving back to Minnesota.  So I guess it is a good thing that I do not see myself living with someone again.

piping hot cuppa coffee to warm up the evil in me
I am really liking ‘being on my own’…..and frankly, I cannot wait for daughter en fam to find their own place to buy. I have so many ideas I want to do. Including moving my bedroom upstairs and turning my downstairs bedroom into an office….Which, according to my daughter, I shouldn’t do because “You know Mom…soon stairs will be hard for you….”


Posted in Me

7 thoughts on “This week….

    1. I have ideas I want to do with the rooms upstairs FINALLY after 12+ years and I can do nothing until they move out. *sigh* almost wish I hadn’t asked them to move in but things were going REALLY bad for them at the time……smoothing out now…but still..


      1. They pretty much stay upstairs, it’s THEIR kids that come down and make more noise than a circus when I am trying to watch my programs. ugh.


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