Prayers please…..?

….or happy thoughts, good vibes….whatever trips your trigger, floats your boat or makes your world go ’round…….

Preeclampsia…………..

Formerly called toxemia, preeclampsia is a condition that pregnant women develop. It’s marked by high blood pressure in women who haven’t had high blood pressure before. Preeclamptic women will have a high level of protein in their urine and often also have swelling in the feet, legs, and hands. This condition usually appears late in pregnancy, though it can happen earlier.

If undiagnosed, preeclampsia can lead to eclampsia, a serious condition that can put you and your baby at risk, and in rare cases, cause death. Women with preeclampsia who have seizures are considered to have eclampsia.

Megann has this this morning. Only when Willa nurses on her left side. But it will prevent her from coming home this afternoon. Starting tonight, we are to get a snow storm. Go figure huh?

Nonna is getting run ragged by a 5 year old that ‘just wants Mom and Dad home…..and …….what’s her name again???’

willa and lennox

 

 

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Yesterday….

…..I felt like I had been hit by a truck. Then he backed up and hit me again. Started at 4am with running to the loo every freaking 20-30 minutes, at 7 I finally text the boss telling him I would not be in.

I laid on the couch all day feeling like death warmed over watching mindless stuff on Netflix. Finally at 9pm I took a Tylenol PM and a tension headache, hit the pillow and died.

Today……….much better.

home 5
I’ve been looking online for the type of house I would like to buy when I move back to Minnesota. It’s called a Craftsman. I really like that porch all the way across the front.

home 3.jpg
I really like the way it looks. This one is cool because it has a fireplace.
home 7.jpg
I think this one is my favorite. Even has a fireplace! Too bad I don’t have a CLUE where this house is! I expect munchkins to come flying out the door at any moment……..I just hope I can find something I like…..I want a front porch. I want to sit and watch things happen in my yard when the G’kids are there.
house 3
This one is FAR too close to civilization. I want to be back in the boonies where no one can bother me. But I do love the look of this one. It looks…….comfortable.

All I want is 3 bedrooms, 2 baths and a few acres. Is that too much to ask for? In California or New York? Yes. In the Midwest? Not really……

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So….inquiring minds want to know….

…how my date went Saturday afternoon. Well, lemme tell ya………..

-doesn’t like crowds.

-asking me about how I knew I had diabetes. (free medical?)

-Asked how I deal with Anxiety…………I don’t. I just do what needs to be done and I don’t waste time and energy on it. That’s what I was taught growing up. When you grow up on a farm, it’s how you are. When you have an angry animal coming at you, you react.

-flirts then backs off. Doesn’t follow through so I’m not sure what it is he wants.

-NOT 53 as profile states but 60. Which is neither here nor there. He’s a good looking man. LONG hair. NICE smile.

-wants to get together again. Interesting. Hasn’t stated when yet…..

-insistent I get a cortisone shot for my chest. Altho after throwing wood in Sunday afternoon, I feel MUCH better. It’s been suggested scar tissue is making things a bit painful and I’m thinking that is correct. Frankly I am amazed at how much less I hurt. The pile in the back is about 6′ tall so that is a healthy pile in there again now. wood pile—and now the weather has turned crappy so I think I’ll be leaving early. One last order to put in and I think I’ll be shutting down.

I’d rather it snowed. Because now, with it icy? daughter is SURE to go into labor…..yay!!

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Lisa….I’m just gonna answer these…..

You have been invited to a formal dinner party but you only have a choice of two outfits: a wetsuit or a fairy outfit (tutu, pink, you get the picture), which would you choose?

—I would ROCK that fairy outfit. Just gimme a wand!!

You can spend the day with any film/tv character – who would it be? (yes, I’m still thinking about Alan Shore)

The Lake House ‘Alex Wyler’…..yum.  Who wouldn’t want to spend the day with Keanu Reeves????

You have won a free holiday to a resort of your choosing, anywhere in the World – where would you go?

—-I would go to the Island of Sardinia. It is beyond beautiful there and I think everyone should go see it at least once.

You are give the opportunity to erase 1 memory, what would it be?

—-The pain and hopelessness in Nick’s eyes when they confirmed it was cancer.

Given the choice between being locked in a 20 x 20 room alone for 24 hours or with 19 others, what would you pick?

—-Alone. I like my own company. Can I have music of my choosing? I’d sing for those hours of the 24 hour that I am awake.

Check Lisa out at ……. https://allaboutlife.blog/2019/01/14/mystery-blogger-award-2/

She’s fun to read……(well except for that scary one………eeek)

we love someone because they sing a song only we can hear

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I’m blank today….

I got to see Brian (AKA My millionaire) last night….I haven’t seen him since I walked away on January 1st.

hard to let go of the demons that are holding on

It was good to see him. I have missed him. And he really misses me. He won’t say it but his actions sure do. But…he knows (as I keep reminding him) what has to be done. I have to stand firm on this. He keeps telling me “I know. I know.”

He knows he can’t be with me until it’s done. He tells me I am such a warm loving person but he thinks I can be a hard ass too.

underestimate me

Don’t piss me off. I don’t get so mad and want revenge like I used to. I walk away. It’s easier on the heart. And after I do? Then people realize that they actually like being by me. Then it’s too late……

one-of-my-favorite-feelings.jpg

I found this today. Each of you ………….. take it to heart.

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This week….

houseplant with complicated emotions.jpg

…has been a little rough. I put Vince Gill’s CD back in my car and when this song came on, for some reason I lost it.

You say your heart has been broken
And it’s taking forever to mend
And it’s left you even more certain
That you’ll never love again
A long time ago someone told me
It’s not love that causes the pain
Whenever a heart has been shattered
It’s the losing of love that’s to blame

Love never broke anyone’s heart
It never left anyone scarred
It’s not really love if it tears you apart
Love never broke anyone’s heart

I know your feelings are tender
And you’re so afraid they won’t heal
I’ll prove to you love doesn’t hurt you
And I’ll show you how true love should feel

Well, I think love can break a heart. When it has been taken away. Ripped away because of death. I have been feeling beyond helpless and hopeless because there was NOTHING I could do to stop losing Nick. Why is this coming up again? Because I feel the same for being stuck for another 4 or more months waiting for my sternum to heal again. Frustration, annoyance, anger, and helplessness. Not at my G’son. Never. Ever. I love him too much. Just all these emotions over my original stupidity of hurrying up something that maybe I shouldn’t have.

I’ve been trying to start over lately. Dating. Ugh. Only one man has NOT come up short on my ‘tape measure’ and he doesn’t want to date. I feel lost and meeting new men is daunting to say the least. But I am too young to give up having another relationship. I LIKE men. I LIKE spending time in adult conversation with someone. I like doing fun things with someone who actually wants to spend time with me. And I have discovered…..TALL men are FUN!

I have a date at 3pm Saturday in a town 25 miles north of me (we are kind of meeting in the middle) with a man that is rather funny, 5 years younger,6’1″, and his hair longer than mine, but he’s a farmer and I am sure if we hit it off and things work out, he’s not going to want to move further south and I plan on moving back to Minnesota.  So I guess it is a good thing that I do not see myself living with someone again.

piping hot cuppa coffee to warm up the evil in me
I am really liking ‘being on my own’…..and frankly, I cannot wait for daughter en fam to find their own place to buy. I have so many ideas I want to do. Including moving my bedroom upstairs and turning my downstairs bedroom into an office….Which, according to my daughter, I shouldn’t do because “You know Mom…soon stairs will be hard for you….”

Wait…………………………WHAT?

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The Wake…..

Yesterday closed with a difficult evening….I had felt pretty damn good, my chest wasn’t hurting NEARLY as bad, but the weather changed. It was COLD out. The wind was awful and just BIT through your clothes.

Colleen’s wake was hard. She didn’t even look like Colleen. I have never seen a viewing with flowers wrapped around the neck or covering hands. It just looked odd.

c purple flowers                              casket

Lots of classmates were there and it was nice to see them….I just didn’t like the reason we got together. I picked up Doris and she rode with me to the viewing. We are a pretty close class….

After that was all done, I dropped her off, put gas in, and headed to a wrestling tournament my #2 G’son was in. However I was at least 20 minutes away and he was up. So I didn’t get to see him this time.

caiden

Hope y’all have a great evening. More tomorrow..oxoxoxoox

 

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