I don’t want drugs…..

I took melatonin last night…About 7:30 or 8pm. I was in bed, lights off by 10pm, compared to almost 1am the night before. Jegs decided he needed to go out at 11pm. So I was up for a bit then, back to bed and crashed. I didn’t hear anything till the alarm at 6am.

Jegs is the black lab cross. He was 10 back on Valentine’s Day. Piper is the boxer/pit cross. She’s 7 but I don’t recall when they celebrate hers. I pick a holiday close. Otherwise I can’t remember. Sprint the cat is remembered on Memorial weekend. He just turned 7.

Jegs and Piper.jpeg
Sad how I am hoping this time will pass quickly. I’ve had things to do the last two years so memories do not weigh so heavily. This year? I’m cleaning and organizing my desk area. Boring and leave much too much time on my mind to think and remember.

Gary is coming to the house tonight so maybe that will help…..?

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Boo’s 5 for Friday…..

1). The insurance company and I have agreed to do something about my car. Whether or not I get it fixed, I am still entitled to compensation for my loss. So I am taking the check but not fixing the hood. For now.

2). I took today off. Jegs needs a rabies shot. So I’ll give him a ride in the truck so he won’t be so mad about going to the V-E-T. Then Gary and I will head to BRF for a free night at the Casino and some gambling, swimming, good Mexican food…and relaxation.

3). hocus pocus I need coffee to focus! One day I hope to get off that stuff. It eats yer guts.

4). I’ve been reading back through blogs from 2012. And it hits me like a Monty Python Mackerel. All the signs for Nick’s illness were there. The weight loss, the UTI’s, the inability to eat. And it makes me sad all over again. But, not as sad as last year. I’m learning to cope.

5). It’s hot in my office. So we turn the air on. And it blows right on me so I put on my sweater. When the air shuts off, I take my sweater off my shoulder. It’s a no win situation….

So I got a few good jokes last week. This week? Tell me your favorite childhood memory in 2 sentences. Good luck!


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Think about this…..

A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, “How many of you love your husband?” All the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?” Some women answered today, some yesterday, some couldn’t remember.

The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband: “I love you, sweetheart.” The women were then told to exchange phones and to read aloud the text message responses.

Here are some of the replies:
1. Who is this?
2. Oh, dearest, are you sick?
3. I love you too, whoever you are.
4. What now? Did you crash the car again?
5. I don’t understand what you mean?
6. What have you done now?
7. ?!?
8. Don’t beat around the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, there will be big trouble.
11. I thought we agreed we would not drink during the day.
12. Your mother is coming to stay, isn’t she?

What kind of response would YOU get? I always got one of two answers. I love you too. Or Suuuuuuuuurrrreee Neil. Either one worked. And I would give ANYTHING to get sure neil one more time.
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I used to do this on Multiply…….

Simple Woman’s Day book

Outside My Window . . .is a world to explore. Find a way to do it. Always…..

I am thinking . . .  that I am getting frustrated and overwhelmed. And I don’t know why. OK, yes I do. I just don’t know what to do about it.

I am thankful that . . . .  I have good friends.

From the kitchen . . .  come some pretty good aromas when I am cooking.

I am wearing . . .  my frustration on my sleeve.

I am creating . . .  more memories. Hope they are good ones

I am going . . .  to scream soon.

I am reading . . .  absolutely nothing right now. I need to get my books organized.

I am hoping . . .  that this weekend is fun.

Around the house . . .  jobs are finally getting done. Feels good!

One of my favorite things . . .  is the HUGE smiles I get from Willa when she sees me after work. She wiggles and smiles and COOS so loud….

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week . . . Vet visit, Gambling, swimming, babysitting, and Portland services.

Here is picture thought I am sharing . . . *warm sand, good friends, margaritas and tacos from Fritz’s special place in Mexico. Just layin’ back on a beach on the coast not thinkin’ bout NOTHIN’*

If it isn’t a happy ending, your story isn’t over yet.

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No wonder my yard looks like a brush pile…

What this article does not state is TWO tornadoes touched down in my area. I don’t know where the second one was yet…..

GALE, Wis. (WKBT) – “It looked like a bomb went off. There are trees lying everywhere, power lines were down.”

It didn’t take long for Hans Reimer and his tree removal company to get calls to start clearing the storm damage that ran though Trempealeau County.

“My phone exploded. Literally as soon as the wind was blowing I was getting calls. You wouldn’t recognize this place on Saturday. The crews worked really hard to get the streets to stay open.”

Hans and his crew have a lot of work ahead of them.

“I’ve got at least five days of storm damage related work to do in this immediate area.”

But Hans isn’t clearing out trees alone.

“Couldn’t believe how fast the community came together and started. Chainsaws where flying, it was still raining and people were cleaning up already I was impressed.”

“Nobody was afraid to pitch in,” explained Co-Manager of Champions Riverside Campground in Galesville, Lisa Black.

Black saw the same sense of teamwork in cleaning up storm damage.

“We did it within our own staff, and everybody that came with chainsaws and rakes and helpers.”

There were concerns over the camp having to close down for the next few weekends.

“Everything is a setback, but we are responding to it well, so we’re not going to shut down at all.”

With damaged cornfields, tree lines, structures, and roads that still need clearing, those I talked to are happy that the town pitched in to help, but know that there’s still plenty to do.

“Gotta get back to work!” exclaimed Reimer.

This was near the elementary school my g’son goes to. That is 5 miles or so from my house. FAR too close.

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I know this doesn’t look like much. But it will take me another day to finish cleaning up. Gary did a bunch on Sunday. For ONCE I didn’t have an 8″ branch fall. Well unless you count that one still up in the tree. I don’t know how big that one is. And the one ‘in’ the pine tree? Has almost completely ruined that pine. I hope I can save it.

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July 22nd

“Hey! I am in this for the long haul. I love you.”

nick and sue dancing
“You made me tremble! No one has ever done that before!”

Remember the Torino? And driving down to Missouri? Oh God yes….lol! You have the softest lips.

NIck smiles 2003 cropped

The tire shed when you shot my thumb, behind the tire shed, camping, the peninsula at the state park, hiking, walking, talking, car repair, buying and hauling our cars, buying our house together, dancing, parties, getting toasted together. The way your blue eyes turned a dark grey. Sleeping out by our fire pit under the warm starlit sky. Muffin. Bear. Emmy. Ansi. Our fur babies by our sides. They are all gone now, too.

Your hands. How you would touch me, hold me, caress me.Nicks hands
The baby we lost. You said you wished for a daughter. Broke my heart….

I can’t tell you why………….no baby, I can’t tell you why……

The ’65, the Mach, the Torino, the Truck, the Ranchero, the Capri, the Vic, the 8N, the Falcon, the Galaxie…..and all our other ‘4 wheel babies’……

I’ve got the strong desire to start the kind of fire that would burn through the pouring rain.
Eagles, Simon and Garfunkel, Head East, Boston, Kansas, Alice Cooper, Styx, Vince Gill, Journey, Foghat (sucked), Marshall Tucker(sucked), Steppenwolf, Arlo Guthrie TWICE!!, Little River Band, and so many more….I have lost track.

Love will keep us alive.
nick on my lap

The feeling of helplessness, being unable to control what was happening to you.
Nicks hand.jpeg
Standing there thinking wildly to myself “NO! stop! Wait a minute! No God! Don’t take him yet I’m not READY!” The incredibly empty feeling that filled me when I realized you were truly gone. That I couldn’t talk to you anymore. Sitting on the couch thinking “I don’t have anything to do now. I don’t have to give him his meds. I can’t hold him. I can’t kiss him and tell him everything will be OK, that I am STILL HERE for him!”visiting Nick March 5 2017

Living without you is like living in a world with no air.

and she said I cant take this anymore

There are days when memories of you become overwhelming.

sometimes you just have to let the day win

Because I just can’t keep ahead of my thoughts. This past couple weeks have been rough as usual. But I carry on because I have no choice.grief never ends

I still believe in you
With a love that will always be
Standing so strong and true
Baby, I still believe in you and me….. 

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