July 22nd

“Hey! I am in this for the long haul. I love you.”

nick and sue dancing
“You made me tremble! No one has ever done that before!”

Remember the Torino? And driving down to Missouri? Oh God yes….lol! You have the softest lips.

NIck smiles 2003 cropped

The tire shed when you shot my thumb, behind the tire shed, camping, the peninsula at the state park, hiking, walking, talking, car repair, buying and hauling our cars, buying our house together, dancing, parties, getting toasted together. The way your blue eyes turned a dark grey. Sleeping out by our fire pit under the warm starlit sky. Muffin. Bear. Emmy. Ansi. Our fur babies by our sides. They are all gone now, too.

Your hands. How you would touch me, hold me, caress me.Nicks hands
The baby we lost. You said you wished for a daughter. Broke my heart….

I can’t tell you why………….no baby, I can’t tell you why……

The ’65, the Mach, the Torino, the Truck, the Ranchero, the Capri, the Vic, the 8N, the Falcon, the Galaxie…..and all our other ‘4 wheel babies’……

I’ve got the strong desire to start the kind of fire that would burn through the pouring rain.
Eagles, Simon and Garfunkel, Head East, Boston, Kansas, Alice Cooper, Styx, Vince Gill, Journey, Foghat (sucked), Marshall Tucker(sucked), Steppenwolf, Arlo Guthrie TWICE!!, Little River Band, and so many more….I have lost track.

Love will keep us alive.
nick on my lap

The feeling of helplessness, being unable to control what was happening to you.
Nicks hand.jpeg
Standing there thinking wildly to myself “NO! stop! Wait a minute! No God! Don’t take him yet I’m not READY!” The incredibly empty feeling that filled me when I realized you were truly gone. That I couldn’t talk to you anymore. Sitting on the couch thinking “I don’t have anything to do now. I don’t have to give him his meds. I can’t hold him. I can’t kiss him and tell him everything will be OK, that I am STILL HERE for him!”visiting Nick March 5 2017

Living without you is like living in a world with no air.

and she said I cant take this anymore

There are days when memories of you become overwhelming.

sometimes you just have to let the day win

Because I just can’t keep ahead of my thoughts. This past couple weeks have been rough as usual. But I carry on because I have no choice.grief never ends

I still believe in you
With a love that will always be
Standing so strong and true
Baby, I still believe in you and me….. 

Posted in Me

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