A little something to ponder today….

What is luxury?

They made us believe that luxury was the rare, the expensive, the exclusive, everything that seemed unattainable to us. Now we see that luxury are those little things that we do not know how to value.

Luxury is being healthy, luxury is not stepping into a hospital, luxury is being able to walk along the seashore, luxury is going outside and walking without a mask, luxury is reuniting with your family and your friends, luxury is the looks, luxury are the smiles, luxury are hugs and kisses, luxury is to enjoy each sunrise, luxury is the privilege of loving and being alive.

All this is a luxury and we did not know it.

WRITTEN BY ADI from Pamplona, Spain. I forgot to add that earlier.

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I need a rousing round of…………

……….something……..Drink? Sex? Drugs? Rock ‘n’ Roll? Who knows.

And because Gary and I broke up, and no one wants to start dating during this Covid BS, what’s a girl to do?


They love to snuggle not only with me but each other. Stella is getting so big. Louie just stays his cute little self.Stella and Louie 7272020

So. My crappy weekend.

Friday. Memorial Service for my Uncle. My dad, mother, Willa, and I were the only ones not wearing masks. Now. Keep in mind, NO ONE Is sick. But everyone is wearing a mask.


On a beautiful day.

But took them off for 30 minutes to eat lunch.

*rolls eyes* whatever. So many things I read state how they do no good. But to each their own. I’m tired of being bullied about it.

Saturday. Another Memorial Service for Coleen’s Mom. Coleen is my dad’s mom’s brother’s son’s daughter.

Get that?

I didn’t make it up for that service. I had Willa. I was exhausted from the day before. It was hotter than Billy Hell. And I had one more trip I was sposed to do back up there on Sunday for church. I didn’t go.

Instead, on Sunday, Willa and I met Mommy and brothers in town, then I went home, threw the milk in the fridge and ran up to Larry’s house to sit with him and Linda. I left about 4pmish. Larry died about 6:15pm. So another car man full of knowledge and humor is gone. He had the same cancer as Nick. Watching him restlessly sleep in that same type of hospital bed in the corner of his living room………July 21 flooded back.  But, believe it or not, I did OK. I just felt such sadness that with all the money thrown at this disease, nothing to control or cure has been found in how many years.

So I woke up with this today.  My nurse G/F asked when I had my blood pressure checked last. December I think. I’ve a cuff at home. I think. I’ll check it tonight.  I feel better than I have in a long time since I’ve been walking every lunch instead of eating. Pretty soon you can bounce a quarter off MY ass. LOLeye
My co-worker Mike can’t look at me. It’s freaking him out. So of course I walk up to him with my eyes wide open and bat my lashes. It doesn’t hurt. I can ‘feel’ it like maybe I rubbed it too hard. I mowed lawn last night. I didn’t get whacked in the face with a branch.

Oh! Now you can see my mole up close. Willa touches it and I go ‘Beep Beep!’ She giggles. I’ve done that with all my kids. I should get it removed.

So tonight I think I am going to start tackling my shed. Move stuff so I can get my truck and Mustang in there in a few months (sobs quietly). Both tractors should be in there too. I need to do it in the daylight as I have no lights in there.

Nothing to do tonight on the way home. Stella and Louie will love that. I forgot to leave the stereo on for them today. Then off to play in my shed. I’m going to have to get the kennel ready for them. They need to run. Little bundles of energy that they are.

Later taters…


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Well … it’s official……..

Dear EF host families, 

As President of EF High School Exchange Year, these past few months have presented me with some of the greatest challenges and hardest decisions I have made in my time at EF, and today is no different. It is with great sadness that I must share our decision to cancel the EF High School Exchange Year program in the United States for the fall of 2020.  

Concerns for the safety of our students, host families, coordinators and schools are at the heart of our decision, as COVID-19 continues to spread unpredictably. In addition to these concerns, logistical challenges surrounding student travel, school re-opening plans and new regulations provided by the U.S. Department of State, have led us to this challenging outcome. As difficult as this decision was, we are confident it is the right one.  

We are all heartbroken by what will be missed this year. Welcoming your students at airports across the country, bonding at a backyard barbecue and making new traditions. Celebrating first friends, goals scored and concerts performed. Going through so much together and, along the way, becoming family. 

Like I needed ONE more thing this week.

I will go to Naples as soon as I can. Or Lorenzo will come here. I really enjoy my newest Italian son. And I am beyond sad he’s not coming now.

I have no idea if things will change for a January arrival as hoped. So fingers crossed.

I made it through last night. I sat on the living room floor where his hospital bed was and just let the memories flood over me. I felt better faster. So I am healing. I hope. I pray.

I have been watching Outlander on Netflix. It’s so good. I have visited some of the areas where this series was filmed. I am also about 60% English/Scottish/Irish/Wales. No wonder why it feels like home when I am there. And how I love the land they ride across. It’s so beautiful in Scotland…..

My friend’s wife that fell down the stairs has opened her eyes and squeezed his hand. This is good news. They are looking at a minimum of 8 months recovery time but as we all know, everyone is different. It could be more, it could be less. Prayers, happy thots, good vibes or wishes are much appreciated.

I get Willa tonight until sometime Sunday. I am beyond excited and yet apprehensive. An 18 month old …..and 2 puppies age 4 months. This could get interesting!! LOL

Thank you for your wishes for me yesterday. I make it through. I always do. Just some days are harder than others. My love to you all…..

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This has been a shitty week….an addition..

…and it’s only Tuesday.

Got this from a dear friend today:
On Sunday in the later part of the afternoon my son and I went for a short ride in my mustang, visited my parents, no more than 2 hours.   Got home and found my wife on the floor below our steps to the upstairs in a pool of blood from her head,  she was unconscious and struggling to breath.  I had my son immediately call 911, and I gently lifted her head and upper body to an almost sitting position and her breathing got somewhat better.   I was so scared help would not arrive in time, but though it seemed like hours, the fire department and the ambulance arrived, took her to Emergency at ……  I am writing you from a hallway waiting room outside of the ICU.  Yesterday I was allowed to be with her.  Today they said they had made a mistake in allowing that and so I am no longer allowed to be in her room. She is still unconscious. She sustained fractures in 4 ribs, lung collapsed, they fixed the lung immediately I guess, fractures in the right side of her skull.   Today they allowed me to be a part of the group doing their rounds with her and each specialist gave reports indicating all was good for her health, except she isn’t yet waking.   She lifts her hands and her legs when uncomfortable.   I talked to her and I thought she looked like her eyelids were trying to open. They are removing the ventilator cause she really never needed it, they are inserting a feeding tube today.  Yesterday the brain surgeon said everything he saw looked OK, so no surgery no need for an MRI.   Today they are doing an MRI.   They are not worried about her not waking yet, and are encouraging me that this could take a few more days, but I am of course getting nervous about it.   She is in really good hands medically and has everyone praying for her, so I am confident she will wake up.  Don’t know what she will be like when she does, but they say it will take a long time to fully recover.  

This is crazy.  I am asking for prayers for his wife. He has been a dear friend to me and had given me lots of advice and direction when Nick got sick. This woman survived cancer. So he had lots of information the doctors and hospitals can’t tell you. Only a spouse knows this and can impart to others.

Then Friday is the memorial for my Uncle Bert at Portland. Saturday is the memorial for my Dad’s first cousin’s wife, Mary Ellen. Sunday is Portland Services and I’m not going. Next year will be the Memorial for Uncle Lee. I can’t run up there 3 days in a row so I am going Friday with Willa. Willa will wear me out if I have to run that many days in a row.

It’s over an hour one way.

And over an hour home.

For 3 straight days.

And Willa’s medication must be refrigerated.

Four years tomorrow.

Sick of grandson blowing me off. So I will go quiet.

I’m glad I have Friday off. I am so looking forward to having Willa all to myself.  I need to get Lennox all by myself for a weekend soon too.

I just need things to get back to as close to normal as possible.

I forgot to tell you about my 2 hour phone call Sunday night. The guy that took Nick to the Falcon Nationals a week before he died….is laying in the VA hospital in Minneapolis with ….. guess….pancreatic cancer. I talked to him on Thursday I think on my way home from work. His voice was so weak. He’s not tolerating chemo well, kidney function is less than 25%, you name it…..

I spent 2 hours on the phone Sunday night with his woman. Basically she wanted me to tell her how much time he has left based on my experience with Nick. I told her I couldn’t tell her that. But that I would look for the books a dear friend sent me (which I am afraid I may have already lent out and not gotten back…….dammit)

Too much shit is building up …….. I’m waiting for the dam to burst…..


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What the heart wants

This is a song by Collin Ray.


it ain’t the mind that calls the shots ’round here.
Stronger powers pull two bodies near.
Nothing on earth can interfere when love is
what the heart wants.


What my heart wants? Is not available any more.



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My mood sucks….thanks sis!

…my bio one, River, not you. You would NEVER do to me what she has .

And because my mood sucks? y’all get this rant written by a friend in Michigan.



congrat revelers

Yesterday there was a customer in here using the N word. Mike says “well my bi racial children are pretty cool.” which stopped the guy.

I about came unglued. I was taught all are equal.

Jay and Tay

And I’m getting pretty protective my newest grandsons.

See their momma?? Didn’t want them. NONE in the black community wanted them (“But we take care of our own!”) ha.

They are ours now. We are keeping them.

They say I’m the BESTEST Gramma ever!

They’re right!


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