Can I have a breather? Please?

I got some more bad news yesterday in with some great news. Who knew?

Remember my friend Jon? The one 12 days younger? Died in June? Just found out yesterday his mother has stage 4 colon cancer. His daughter told me this as we are setting up a visit with her new little bug. I can’t wait to meet Arlo! I’m just so sorry Jon doesn’t get to. So I’ll give little Arlo Jon a hug & a smooch from G’pa. And G’pa Jon can watch down over him.

I miss him. A lot. I am very sad his mom is now ill. I need to get up there and see her. We only had 3 weeks from when Jon found out to his death. I hope I have a bit more time for Faye.

More sad news. Lorenzo is so hopped up to be in America, that he got an F1 Visa instead of a J1, has changed exchange companies and is now going to Scottsdale, AZ. I am beyond sad to not be hosting this fun young man. He will be coming in less than 2 weeks. He’s going to try to do a nice long layover in Minneapolis so I get to meet and spend some time with him. So please keep your fingers crossed.

And in good news, I get to see Jim tonight. Tomorrow not so much as I have yet another funeral. Sheesh. Another of my parents generation. There are so few left. I also have grandchildren overnight Saturday night which will cut into Jim time. (sounds like a workout ….. oh hush)

Have a great weekend! Hugs to you all!

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Losing and someone new…

I had some inkling that losing Nick would be difficult for the rest of my life. I loved him. He was my other half.

I just didn’t know HOW difficult. man o man….

I didn’t want to be known as ‘the widow down the road’ or be alone for the rest of my life. That is simply not me. I am just too outgoing to be alone. There will NEVER be anyone in my life like Nick. We fought so hard to be together, and fought so hard to stay together.

We all know how that one turned out.

I was going back through photos. Sometimes this is not a good thing to do. Memories flood back and leak out my eyes. And that’s how things have been for the last few weeks.

I have met someone. He’s been spooking the hell outta me. Twice he has said the exact words Nick said to me 25 years ago. He had NO way of knowing those words. At lunch I noticed him pick up his fork with his left hand. My mind is just whirling with thoughts.

I told my friend Karla about these instances. She said “I told you Nick would send someone to be with you. These are the signs.” I wondered if that is what it was. Nick and I had a long one sided conversation last Friday night. I talked, he listened. And didn’t give me any kind of answer. Men. Pfffft….. I think that is something I have to work out for myself.

I can feel Nick slipping away as Jim keeps freaking me out. I feel as if I have to lose Nick all over again. I have to really let him go and put him in a different part of my mind if I want things to continue with Jim.

I know, I know. It’s my mind freaking me out.

And as usual “I will be fine. I always am.”

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It was an event filled weekend..

I bought a new bed. So we moved this wrought iron one into the spare room. The room I have to gut and redo.

We moved the brass one (see above) I had in here, into the students room. If I’d have known I was getting a male I wouldn’t have moved it.

I would have moved the wrought iron one down here first. Then we moved my new one into my room. I bought a queen. I like the size. It’s better fit in my room than the king was. The brass was too small as much as I loved it.

Now I want to start rearranging things in my room. I’ll be busy tonight.

Well I ended up with a puppy throwing up last night….so I didn’t do much of anything with my room. Maybe tonight…….

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So….did anyone ELSE do this?

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I have some type of small animal at my house that will be dying soon. Little Effer not only ripped up the first screen, NOW the little Effer has put a hole in my screen door AND IN MY BRAND GD NEW DOOR!!! It has ALSO ruined a BRAND NEW screen on my living room window!

I don’t care if you like little animals. That little asshat is too damn bound and determined to get in my HOUSE.

It dies.

And it dies soon.

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