I have

…..a very tough decision to make and I need your help…. I need your thoughts.

My beautiful boy is at a crossroads.

I know he is in arthritic pain. I know his belly is looking old and wrinkly all of a sudden from his scratching that NO anti itch cream can abate.

The problem came to a head last night. I had sold a bed and had people coming within 45 minutes of me getting home. I came in the house to find him in my dining room instead of the linoleum hallway where I had left him barricaded in this morning. He had been banished to the hallway when I am not home because the old man pees a freakin’ LAKE when he pees. Last night? 3 huge puddles and a pile.

On my hardwood floors. Where there is a place for it to seep under said linoleum. Or like a week ago? Under an interior wall.

I have done nothing but clean up after him for two weeks. Deep clean. Rip stuff apart and clean when I could be enjoying my alone time since getting rid of the asshat.

This morning?

Pee’d right outside the door on the platform. Making ICE where there was snow to walk on. Then shit at the bottom of the steps.

Tonight the kennel gets brought up from the basement and that’s what he will be in during the day. I no longer have a choice.

Jegs will be 12 on Sunday which is long for a Lab/Rottie cross. Rotties are 10 years, Labs 12 years. But then you factor in 2 car hits and 5 surgeries, he’s deaf, I think he has cataracts, and the inability to hold his bathroom habits like he used to. He KNOWS how to come wake me when he has to go and yet at 4am, when I walk to the bathroom myself? I have to wade through a damn lake of pee. And I’m washing floors at 4am when I should be sleeping before work.

It’s too cold for him to be outside. If it was summer? I’d put him in his outdoor kennel. The dog house part of it is in the garage so he has shelter. That is not currently an option for at LEAST 3 more months.

My question is this. What would you do? He’s lived a long full life and right now? I seriously doubt the quality of his life because I’m so mad at him I can’t even talk to him. He knows it too. He’s no dummy. He’s ruining my house.

I don’t know what to do because he was Nick’s dog.

Is it time to let him go?

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Today’s memories? Biking

Sounds boring I know. But I must tell you about one trip we did as a 4-H group. And if any of you are seriously into this? The Sparta – Elroy bike trial is one you should have on your bucket list.

Hard to think about biking when it was a balmy -18*F without windchill this morning. But I can’t wait to get back on my gel seat and GO!!

https://www.justintrails.com/elroy-sparta-trail-biking/ <–check it out. But their cabin prices are WOW way too high. I’m not paying off the mortgage for it with one night’s stay! Beautiful cabins tho.

Three Railroad Tunnels are part of this trail. One is .2 miles, one is .3 miles and the third is .7 miles long. You will be chilled by the time you get to the end of THAT tunnel. But it is an amazing ride. So beautiful. You ride 32.5 miles. I remember we went all the way to one end and camped. Then those that wanted, biked back. One day I would like to do this trail again. Which means I need to start training for it now. This spring. As soon as the weather breaks.

An old Railroad bed was converted to a bike run. ‘Rails to Trails’ is the term they use. It winds through the beautiful Driftless Area. I have told you before about how gorgeous God’s Country is. Find some videos on the Sparta Elroy Bike Trail and you can see I am not lying. (I don’t lie anyway but just LOOK at that scenery!)

Now that I am writing about this, the more I like the idea. I may just do a bike/camping trip this summer.


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And for the REST of the news….

Remember Mr. Wonderful? The man I really did think I’d spend the rest of my life with?

Been cheating on me almost the whole time we’ve been together.

AND he doesn’t want to give me the clothes, shoes and toiletries I have at his place, back to me.

What an Asshat.

He finally decided last night that it would be OK for me to come and get my stuff.

How generous of him.


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Me? AWOL? yup…

I came home Monday night to Stella in the middle of having her puppies.

Several days early.

Monday night crew….

She had a total of 6 babies. When I got home on Monday, 3 were already gone. Cold on the floor.

She was frantic. I pick her up, put her on my lap to cuddle her and she starts a new contraction. I put her in her whelping pen, and the little brown one is born. SO tiny. Within the hour, she had 2 more. So of 6 – 3 lived, 3 have died.

Monday night, Stella is in her pen with her babies. Louie and I head for my bed. Stella starts whining frantically. She runs in by me, looks at Louie and I, runs out of my room, and comes running back with a baby in her mouth.

What do I do? I move out to the couch. And sleep next to her.

I took Tuesday off from work because 2 of the 3 are not nursing well. I ran into town for some puppy milk replacer. On Monday evening the little tan one and the smaller black (both girls) take some of Momma’s milk thru a tiny straw and I have some hope. I am keeping them as warm as I can. I think it’s HOT in there but I leave it because they are SO tiny. I can hold all 3 in one hand. I ran into town for some puppy milk replacer. They take some but their swallowing reflex is weak.

Tuesday evening….the two little girls, cold by Momma. She couldn’t get them to nurse and the puppy replacer milk wasn’t enough. Momma is HUGE and must be hurting like hell.

I let her sniff both of them, she’s licking trying to get them to respond but it’s already too late. I take the little tan girl away first. She follows me to bring her back but I won’t let her. I let Stella sniff her baby one more time, then it’s gone.

Stella sniffing her baby……

I pick up the little black girl. Not moving but still warm. I do chest compressions on her to no avail. Blowing into her mouth was not possible, so small, but again, it is too late. Again, I let Stella sniff her baby and it’s the same. Lick and lick hoping for a response. Another one gone.

Stella is ok with Louie being in the dining room, kitchen, bedroom, hallway. But if he steps ONE FOOT into the living room when her kennel door is open and she goes FULL ON rip your throat out Momma mode. Wow. And he goes into full on WHAT THE HELL DID I DO NOW mode yelling right back at her. So here I am refereeing in the middle!

Stella let me sleep in my bed Tuesday night as Monday night, I got 3 hours on the couch. I slept well, she slept well as I put her in a kennel instead so she couldn’t carry baby all over the house.


Wednesday…Time to be frantic about the little male that is left. I feed him some milk replacer and he eats. But I also notice Momma isn’t as big as she was. And little bug has a big tummy….YAY!!

So meet Jack. Fat, sassy and really quick! I have to catch him! I will hold him when I let her out of the kennel so she can go potty or eat. I can’t put him down on the couch because he literally takes off for the edge! VERY healthy looking and eating well. Momma is no longer bursting at the seams.

I can only get her to eat if I put gravy on her food. She drinks water but not enough. I’m thinking I’ll take the rest of the milk replacer, dilute it with water and give it to her. She likes it.

I’m very glad she is no longer searching thru her blankets for the other two babies.

She is still whining pretty bad but she’s doing better. I wish she would let all of us cuddle on the couch again but it is her decision. Louie is being SUCH a good boy about it. I put him in my room while Stella is out. And he deals with it. He is a good dog.

I took him with me for supper last night. Pre approved by the owner of the bar. He sat next to me so nice and ate a few pieces of my broasted chicken. What a good boy he was. My friends were really impressed with him.

He’s lovin’ having his Mom all alone at night. He snuggles right in. In the bed, on the couch, in the car…..when I get up from sitting, he is ON my heels.

Last night he kept bringing me his squeaky bone. Fetch was the game of the evening.

I have more news but that can wait.

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Boo’s Memories Grandma D.

Last week you read some about the G’ma I have tried all my grandparent life to be like. My G’ma Lola. She was special. And I NEVER doubted her love for me. Ever. More on her another day tho.

Today? The other side of the coin. My G’ma Doris. Her love was steady. Just not very obvious. Pretty hidden most of the time actually.

I do mean the other side of the coin. We were not allowed to call her Grandma. She was not old enough to be grandma so don’t call her that. Huh? It wasn’t till after I was married that she started signing her letters to me “Gram”. And THEN I was allowed to call her Gram. Before that? DW. Yup. Her initals. And I didn’t call her anything. Just started talking to her. I do have to say she always treated us like adults in her manner and conversation.

Even if we were 5.

But she made the BESTEST SUGAR COOKIES EVAH!!! omg I loved her cookies. I swear she put addictive drugs in them because once you started? You couldn’t stop eating them. I really do miss those. I don’t recall ever getting to help her bake them….but I do remember eating…….and eating………and eating them. I LOVED Christmas at Doris’s house.

She didn’t do well after G’pa died in 1970. He was a carrot top and smiled all the time. When you walked into the house, he would SHAKE your hand and smile from ear to ear. I remember Gram smiling…sometimes…till he died. She smiled so seldom after that. I don’t think she ever learned how to cope with losing him. Having gone through spousal death myself, I get it. I’m not sure if it was harder or easier back in the 70’s.

She lived right next door to the high school. I would go and sit on the edge of her lawn at lunch time. I always hoped she would come out as we weren’t allowed to leave. Didn’t want us smoking yanno. She never came out. “Those pesky kids were in my yard again!”

Grandma died in April 2002. Going on 19 years now. And for as cranky as this old woman was, I do miss her. She was not the huggy/kissy type my G’ma Lola was. She would stand and wave at the door. But you knew she loved you.

At the end, she was in assisted living and then a nursing home. However she couldn’t get around well.

Because they took her cane away.

Because she would hit the nurses with it.

She only had a graveside service. I can see everyone standing there. I stood by G’pa’s grave. And talked to him.

I told him I hoped Grandma Doris was happy again.

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