Dear Nick….

You know 2 weeks ago was our wedding anniversary. It was 5 years ago we finally said the I do’s we’d been planning on since June 7, 1996.

I miss you beyond words today. It’s just one of those days again. I don’t have them nearly as often as I used to. It has been almost 5 years and they were right, the pain lessens with time.

It was such a fun, impromptu kind of wedding. AWESOME fun. It would have been nice to have done it a long time ago tho. But, if wishes were horses….

It was all I could do to keep it together that day. I finally gave up and cried tears of joy. I was so happy to finally be your wife.

Some things have happened lately that make me miss you more than usual. I’ll get thru them. I always do.

I had to put Jegs down. Too many health things going on and I just felt it was time he came to be with you. The cyst on his throat was getting so hard and big. The lump on his thigh split open, all the lumps on his belly, suspected diabetes, hearing loss, eyesight going to hell. That last day I still struggled with the decision until he tried to get up. It took a while. And when I hugged him, he cringed. He never cringed. Even after that truck roll. That is when I knew I was doing the right thing. I’ll be bringing him up to you soon. I will sprinkle him over you so you two can be together again. You, Bear, Jegs, Emmy, Ansi….my loved ones.

My right hip is reminding how much fun I had playing on Play Day for 4-H. There are days I can hardly walk on it. Yet when I went for my walk at lunch today? It was fine. Now? I can hardly move. It makes no sense.

Thom has been staying in touch. I miss having him around but then again seeing him is another reminder of you. Like I need more.

I don’t know if it’s the anniversary thing, the Jegs thing, or what, but you have been heavy on my mind lately. And I like to be alone with those thoughts when it gets this much.

I’m actually enjoying being home alone with Stella and Louie. You wouldn’t like them….Too busy and Mr. Louie is my protector. Thinks he’s 10′ tall and bulletproof. God help a big dog that wants me to pet them. He might just shred their ankles. *sigh*

I read an article yesterday. The man lost his wife to TB after 2 1/2 years of marriage. But 488 days after she died, he wrote her the most beautiful love letter. His P.S. was “I didn’t know where to send this. I don’t have your new address.” I about lost it.

Know that I think about you a lot. I miss you so much and I will always love you.


Posted in Me

11 thoughts on “Dear Nick….

      1. Oh I know. Jack is most likely leaving on Sunday. I just miss my big dog. And I’m talking at least a year from now, when Stella and Louie are mature and settled down.

        Liked by 1 person

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