…and then there were none…..

I couldn’t tell you how I felt.

Empty?

Enjoying the quiet?

Missing the little buggers.

All I know is Stella came and snuggled right next to me for the whole evening. I didn’t realize how much I had missed that. 9 weeks of her having to be with her babies. Then she snuggled by me all night in bed.

I’m looking forward to some normalcy again.

Stella gets spayed in November.

And I have MY babies back.

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First there were 5….

I have no clue which are who. Except Nico being bathed by Stella.(top of photo)

Then there were 4…………..

Nico, Inky, Pepper, and Odin

Then there were 3…….

Pepper, Odin (front) , and Inky digging for something ……

Then there were 2……..

Miss Pepper and Odin

And tonight? There will be none….Miss Pepper (black) and Tanner (they are calling him Odin….poor puppy) are the only 2 left. L is coming to get them at 4:30pm when I get home. And there will not be any more. Stella is to get spayed in November.

Inky

Inky left at 7am Sunday morning. I cried. I was hoping to get to keep him but he needs Bre as much as Bre needs him. She lives just a few miles from me so I will get to see him. Hopefully often.

He will be a therapy dog! I’m so proud of him!

[Yes, that is what I look like at 7am after 4 Kahlua and creams the night before. LOL]

I want my two babies back. Stella and Louie…..Babies. Pffffft.

They are over 18 months now. Stella doesn’t even want to be in the kennel with her babies anymore. Tonight after they leave, the kennels get set up in the laundry room for their daytime haunt. I have to see if Louie can stand to be in the ‘same room’ as her or if I have to put both big kennels in the laundry. That could get interesting. LOL. I pulled the small one in this morning for him because it’s too cold on the screen porch now. Boy did I get a look. Then he laid down and closed his eyes. He knows Momma has to go to work. Stella will remember that too.

Speaking of puppies outside…my next project is tearing all the flooring except the base out of the screen porch. I can’t wait to get on that.

Then I want to replace the vanity in the bathroom. For some reason the doors fight me to shut properly. It’s time for a new one. One from THIS century…not the 70’s or 80’s like the one I have now.

And I was talking with Juan. His room is the last one to need windows. I may have to check into that.

My new kitchen window looks awesome and I’ll do photos soon.

It’s cold here. I don’t like it because I have to wear shoes now. Ugh

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I’ve been thinking…

…….not always a good thing for me.

I was thinking about how I feel about Jason. He is a great guy and I enjoy spending time with him.

And reflecting back on the other asshats I’ve dated. They turned out to be some dooseys.

Cheating, controlling, and not wanting a LT relationship <–he always wanted to sleep with me. Now he did? and he’s done. How special was THAT?? effer…..

Nice.

It makes me trust my ability to judge character no longer. I’m sick of giving my all and getting nothing back but hurt.

So poor Jason. My partial heart is no longer out on my sleeve. I feel seriously dead inside. Again, I enjoy his company, enjoy spending time with him, it’s fun having a b/f that much younger. I love the guy.

But I’m not ‘in love’ with the guy. It’s not his fault. It’s not my fault. But it’s what I want with someone. I don’t know if we’ll get there or not. With Nick? It was an almost immediate thing like “I have this strong desire to start the kind of fire that burns thru a pouring rain…” that lasted 23 years. Yes, it was that intense.

I want that again. Doesn’t everyone?

When I think of spending the rest of my life with …………. I don’t get anything. No tingle, no smile, no ‘ya, I want that.’

Remember this plant? Grew like crazy when Gary and I were dating? It was dying when we broke up.

It started growing again when Jason and I started dating.

I just had a short conversation with Jason. And now I’m struggling with trying to figure out what I mean to HIM.

Watch the plant start to die soon.

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I’m OK. I think. Let me check on that OK?

Colin Powell dead at 84. I always liked that man. I don’t really know why. This makes me sad.

I’m sick of WP. They make me sign in over and over and over when I want to comment or like. And I cannot like a post until AFTER I comment. WTH?????

Changed the damn font size again too. POS site. Every new paragraph requires resetting the damn font size.

Jason is having surgery today. I’m worried and so is his son Kevin, He called up there. “He is still in Surgery” STILL?? He had to be there at 7:30am. It’s now 12:45pm. (Update 1:20pm Kevin got a ‘procedure started’ text……wth???)

For 4 weeks they blew him off about how red, hot, and sore his leg was. (“Oh, OK. *pause* Now let’s get you walking on that still broken leg!”) Yes, It is still broken. There are gaps between the bones. They are not still growing back together. He has not only a RAGING infection, but part of the large bone they SHOVED a rod into is dying. So they will have to do some serious fixing today.

Morons. I am so angry. But then it just validates why I gave up on that hospital and moved to Mayo. Jason gets to the hospital this morning and they cannot find his name on the list. They even forgot to tell ADMITTING they changed his check in time! THEY called and changed it from 11am to 7:30am and didn’t bother to let anyone else know.

WTH? So I’ve been sitting here at work worrying. And I still have no word on how he is. Kevin will call again in a bit. I have a bad feeling that it’s worse than they thought after they got in there.

Guess they shouldn’t have blown his concerns off for 4 weeks. huh???

Been having a tiff with the Grandson over Papa’s toolbox.

The value of this box when Papa Nick was using it is $25,000 box/tools combined. G’son wanted to give me 1/4 that. No. It’s worth WAY more than that. I’m not GIVING it away. So we finally got together yesterday in my garage, worked out a deal and we are both happy. I love that boy but I did tell him what for yesterday. The ONE person who gives as much as I do, is the ONE person you don’t piss off and insult. OOPs.

Puppies start leaving this Saturday. It makes me sad and yet I want my house/life back. They are getting too attached to me and need to be with their new furever family. They are well behaved and ready to go. Momma doesn’t want them nursing anymore. I have a major clean up job on my screen porch. And Stella goes in next month for spaying.

Incredibly disappointed in no color for my trees this year. Makes me sad too.

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