And on the 17th day . . .

…. of Christmas, some friends are all getting together at Holly’s house. OMG…this will be a BLAST…NO MEN ALLOWED….um…..ok…..We are to take our yarn projects with and work on them. With the consumption of alcohol I’m planning on?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAH, yeah right! I can see all those trapezoid shaped blankets!! And they’ll be covering some snoring hiccuping women!

Just spending a few days alone and by myself doing the things I need to do, has gone a long way on making me feel better and deal with things the way they should be. I have months of this ahead of me yet. But I’ll get there. I know that now. I was told “I don’t know why you do this to yourself every day.” Do what? Deal with the loss of my other half? What? This not something ‘you get over’ in a few days or weeks. This will be a life long process. I don’t sit here at work and tear up anymore. I don’t scream in the car while I’m driving alone anymore. I don’t lay in bed unable to breathe because the pain is so intense anymore. I actually listened to Love Will Keep Us Alive by the Eagles and made it thru the song still breathing! That’s a first in 4 1/2 months. I’m getting into a routine, some call it life. Doing what I need to do everyday without being told I’m doing it wrong is helping me get thru this.

21 weeks today. The time seems to be flying by. My daughter in law gave me a new photo taken in May at Juliana’s birthday party. Nick is squeezing the stuffing outta her and she is squeezing right back. The look of contentment on his face getting that hug…..makes me smile now instead of cry.

Earn and I hauled in a few more days worth of wood and got it stacked. I’ve figured out the wood stove now and had it up to 68° last night! WOOOOOOOOOOOT! I’ll haul more in tonight and tomorrow. I hear we have a snowstorm coming. So I’d like to get some more wood in when I can. Moving cars tomorrow…….no rest for the wicked.

The love emanating from my memories is eternal. ~HAL