Yesterday won again…dammit

Boo

dear-men

Let me just add to this “Or any of her decisions, you’d better be Dr. Ruth, Dr. Laura, or Dr. Phil.”

I was not in the best mood yesterday. The day won. I just gave up and let it. It sometimes can be easier that way. I just wish I knew why this time. Usually I do. But I guess you just have to have ‘one of those days’ now and again.

Part of it is remembering the moment he died. The feeling of helplessness that there was NO way to stop this from happening.

And until you go thru it? You won’t understand it. It was like something so important to me was slipping thru my fingers and nothing I could do would stop it.

Then he was gone.

My handsome, vibrant, incredible soulmate…………gone.

How does one process that?

Posted in Me

9 thoughts on “Yesterday won again…dammit”

  1. LOL Although I know its not funny, but I really get a kick out of these old and or young farts that can be overly critical of a woman’s appearance and they are no prize. They are either disgustingly fat, with a gut overhang, ugly as sin and they have room to criticize? COME ON!!
    Until you walk a mile in someone else’s shoes then shut up!
    Sometimes people don’t think before opening their mouth. Someone once told me, to just turn to them and say, “Did you intend to hurt me?” and wait for them to respond. Most often they will back peddle for you calling them out on it. I’ve never tried it though. I never remember to. Someone should though. Chin up!!

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    1. I think most people equate death no matter who they lost. Losing my Grandma was different than losing my friend Julie at age 28 was different than losing Nick.

      You cannot equate losing a parent or g’parent to losing your lover, your life, your spouse, your other half. It is SO different.

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      1. I would tend to agree. Losing someone old is hard, but because it’s a matter of course or the way of things, it is different. Losing a child would be even harder yet I’m guessing. I remember how it was for my sister and her child had insurmountable handicaps and yet it was devastating.

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  2. I could care less what folks think of my body at this point. I’ve lived life and the young ones haven’t.
    And losing the love of your life? No one can really get that. It would be like me trying to compare your loss with any loss I’ve had.
    It just isn’t the same at all.

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  3. Well sometimes people can only try to relate by their own experiences that may be different than what you have gone through. People try the best they can to sympathize. I lost my mom when I was ten friggin years old. NOTHING compares to that either, but it gave me compassion for people who go through loss of a loved one. I’ve never lost a soul mate, so I have no way to imagine going through that at all. I’ve also lost a grandson and nothing compares to that.
    Death sucks, and it hurts and we all process it the best we can or sometimes we just never really accept it at all….
    You may never get over the loss of Nick, but I do think you will find a place at some point where it doesn’t hurt quite as much. It hasn’t really been that long, though I am sure every single day without him is eternity.

    I think I am done here. I really don’t know anything I can say anymore, because words are never enough and not always appreciated. I wish you well Boo

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